30th
by Amaya Zorifuki
Summary: Hinata's 30th birthday means they have all hit the number. As they celebrate, they look back on their less then fantastic parties. Contains FRIENDS jokes. Pairings: NejiTen ShikaIno NaruHina SasuSaku
1. And now we're all old

This is based on me coming to the realization that I need to humiliate characters more in my fan fictions. So what better way to do so than at their 30th birthdays? I am getting a bit more evil each day; soon I'll be my sister.

Oh, and for the sake of making this complete, Sasuke will be involved. Don't hate me for it, I know it's not the first time you've seen it.

Warning: his fic contains many moments from FRIENDS, so if you don't like the show, this might not be your cup of tea

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Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, and some of the birthday scenarios are 'borrowed' as well.

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The big 3-0

-O

-L

-D

Chapter one: Happy birthday Hinata-chan, it'll be better than the others.

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December twenty-seventh, around seven thirty, Eastern Standard Time, and the guest of honor had yet to arrive. They all waited, until finally the signal was sounded, and they all crouched in wait. He doorknob turned and the door slowly opened.

"Surprise!"

Hinata nearly dropped her bag in shock as her friends and teammates leapt out (mostly) for her birthday. She had arrived with Neji after he convinced Hiashi to let her go to a friend's house after a family celebration that was a right awful bore. Now that the guest of honor ad arrived, a real party could get started.

She picked up her bag and regarded them happily. Even she inwardly thought the thing at home was boring, and was thrilled that her friends thought of something so nice. It would probably to good to mention that they were at Ino's house, and it was decorated with balloons and a banner. It was the usual birthday fix for Hinata's milestone.

"Th-thank you for all this." She said, "I didn't think you would do all this."

"Nonsense birthday girl." Ino said heartily, "It's not everyday a person turns thirty and we all wanted to make it special. My parents are away and said it was alright to do this."

As she was led to the couch, the other Konoha twelve had gathered to wish her a good one. She sat down and started up a conversation with the others.

"I'm glad all of you are here." She smiled, "Who came up with this?"

"Well, Kiba told us about it and suggested a party." Sakura told her, "Shino too, sort of."

Naruto bounded up, "Of course, Ino went into hostess mode and went wild. She raided party stores and planned the heck out of this thing."

"She was barely tolerable." Shikamaru said, earning him a smack to the back of the head by Ino.

Hinata laughed at them, it was so thoughtful and she was happy. Despite that, there was only one thing that could make it absolutely perfect. She knew it full well as she glanced at Naruto. It was not as easy as it sounded, and while she had grown bolder and closer to him, it was not as how she wanted. Lucky for her, Ino had also planned that in her own meddling way.

"Kiba!" She hissed, out of earshot from the others, "You had better have everything ready for this!"

"Relax, Ino. Things will be fine, for crying out loud."

Ino released the death grip on Kiba's jacket and he slid to the floor. She just had to make things go off without a hitch, although if it involved Naruto, it probably would, so she had several backup plans made just in case.

Meanwhile, the others were talking and mingling, when the number actually came up. The number that caused enough trouble for the others.

"I can't believe Hinata is now thirty. That makes all of us over thirty." Lee said, reveling in the thought.

"Yeah," Tenten sighed, "It seemed like only yesterday when we were all just kids."

"Sometimes we still are." Neji smirked, looking at Naruto arguing with Sasuke for what must have been the umpteenth time.

Some things never changed. Of course when that topic sprang up, interesting memories came with it.

"We are now all officially the old club." Chouji joked, only to find that it wasn't al that funny. A good half of them slumped in their seats. Hinata tried to keep the mood up.

"It's not that big a deal." She said, "Just another notch in our lives."

"Well, you're taking it better than some of us." Ino said, giving Lee a look.

"What?" He questioned, "I didn't freak out that much."

"…"

**Flashback**

"Oh, yes what a lovely 29th birthday." He said to the rest of them standing there, "Just think of how I was born in (insert year) and how time just flies."

"Wait a second Lee," Tenten said, "If you were born in (insert year) you're thirty."

"…Huh?"

"She's right." Said Shikamaru, having done the math in his uber smart head.

Pause.

"WHY KAMI-SAMA, WHY?"

Everyone jumped at least three feet at his sudden outburst.

"WHY ARE YOU MAKING US SO OLD? WHY DEPRIVE US OF OUR YOUTH?"

**End flashback**

"That wasn't he only thing that happened." He defended, "Besides, I wasn't nearly as bad as some of you guys."

There was some uncomfortable shuffling as they all glanced around the room, knowing he had a point. Compared to them, his was like the Macy's parade that just had a rogue balloon.

"True, Lee's was a bit out there, but at least he got over it." Sakura admitted.

"Yes, because we have a new deal." Lee smiled, looking up.

The others laughed at Lee's clueless behavior as they recalled their milestone birthdays.

"Let's not forget the lackluster moment that Shino had."

**Flashback**

"Happy birthday Shino!"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"Well?"

"…"

"Forget this! Let's go get some brunch."

**End flashback**

"Who wants to have some dinner?" Ino called.

They all received the food heartily, still recalling the fiasco's known as thirtieth birthdays. They had all done some wild stuff. Kiba was relieved that they didn't mention the little fiasco at his party.

"Remember what Kiba did for his party?"

Darn it.

**Flashback**

"Hey, I got a great game for us." He suggested after they all ate his cake.

Everyone had a sudden feeling of terror wash over them as he began to lead them outside and too the roof of his apartment building. They all had a conniption when they saw appliances of various sizes sitting on the edge of the building.

"Who wants to push the refrigerator off?" Kiba said.

"Me!" Naruto raised his hand.

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME WITH THIS?" Sakura shouted,

"Do you have any idea how much trouble we could get into if we do this?" Neji pointed out.

"S-someone could get h-hurt." Hinata added.

"Relax you guys." Kiba assured them, "I've made absolutely sure that nobody will pass by. I put up road blocks for just this reason."

"Are you sure about this?" Chouji asked.

"My mom did this for her 30th birthday." He told them, now let's get pushing.

**End flashback**

"And what a time that was." Ino said sarcastically.

"Hey, we didn't get into that much trouble." Kiba defended.

They all rolled their eyes at him, it seemed nothing ever changed anymore.

"Whatever." Sakura said, "Remember what Chouji's party involved?"

**Flashback**

"AND NOW CHOUJI?"

Lee was sobbing on the birthday boy's shoulder as he was trying to blow out the candles.

"WHY ARE YOU MAKING US SO **OLD**?"

Everyone glared at Lee as he blew his nose on a hankie he pulled from thin air. Knowing what they had to do, they all grabbed hold of him, and threw him out the window. There was a crash as he landed.

"I'm okay!"

**End flashback**

"I only did it twice." He insisted, "And after all, from what you told me the rest of the party went pretty good."

They all sighed at him as they finished dinner. Reminiscing seemed to make time pass by a bit better. Hinata didn't mind, in fact she thought it was nice to just talk with her friends. It was something that made life good.

"Anyway," Ino said, "It's almost time for cake!"

Most everyone perked up at the thought of cake. After all, cake is life and makes the world better. (Sorry, I really love cake.) Ino started to light the candles as Tenten turned off the lights while the rest of them geared up for the birthday song.

Hinata smiled, she was the last of them to hit thirty, and she recalled other birthdays that made the ones they visited seem like walks in the park. They all sang the birthday song.

(It turns out the birthday song is copyrighted can you believe that?)

When they were done. They cut and began eating the delicious yellow cake with chocolate frosting. (I'm drooling) Sakura brought up what Hinata had on her mind.

"You know, those other parties were rough, but not compared to Ino's."

"Oh, no. Yours was worse billboard-brow!" Ino shot back.

Naruto laughed, "What about Sasuke's? I thought I was going to die of laughter."

"Shut up." The Uchiha growled. "Hyuuga's was worse."

Neji did his best to ignore them as they argued over who's party was worse.

"I'd have to say Shikamaru's." Tenten smiled.

"No way." He said, "Not compared to the fiasco you had."

"Everybody QUIET!"

Ino's louder than normal shout brought them all to a silence, she reserved that for special occasions. Now that they had all shut up, she took the opportunity to continue eating her cake and continue.

"It's Hinata-chan's birthday." She said, "So no arguing or something that will make her upset. We can talk about the old parties, but none of those pain in the butt fights."

They all agreed and sat in silence for a moment.

"Sasuke's was way worse."

-

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End of chapter one, I hope you liked it so far. The ones in here were the ones that I couldn't fit. The other chapters will include my favorite pairings.

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Next chapter: While Hinata's party continues, Neji recalls his 30th birthday in all its hell and glory.


	2. Neji's closet

Okay chapter two of this fun fic. I hope you're enjoying it and thank you to those who read and reviewed it thus far. Thank you so much! On a side note, Neji has the same birthday as my little brother.

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Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, just this fic to entertain you and not even get paid for it.

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Chapter two: Neji's nasty closet

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"Sasuke's was way worse."

They continued Eating Hinata's birthday cake even after Naruto cracked that last comment. Sasuke took a deep breath and addressed the blond stiffly.

"Whatever you want to say, I will ignore." His teeth were gritted so tightly that you could almost hear them cracking, "Besides, you may recall that the most awkward moment was with Neji's."

"Hey!"

"It's true."

Everyone had to agree at that. Neji grimaced at he memory, and Tenten blushed a little as well. Neither of them would or could ever forget that little incident.

"Ino wasn't even meddling with it." Shikamaru said, earning him a punch from Ino.

**Flashback**

July third, four p.m. Eastern Standard Time, and everyone was gearing up for Neji's thirtieth birthday party. Ino was basically running the whole thing and giving orders to the others.

"Okay, we're almost ready." She said, "Tenten, I need you to go get the birthday boy for us."

"I thought Hinata was keeping him busy at the Hyuuga Manor."

"She is, but you taking him here is less of what he'd expect." Ino assure Tenten, "Hinata will zip over here after you take him to dinner or something."

"D-dinner?" Tenten blushed a bit before regaining her composure, "Why suggest that?"

Ino smirked, "You are best friends," She air quoted 'best friends' with her fingers as she spoke, "and I figure diner with him would take just enough time for the rest of the guests to arrive and set the rest of the decorations."

"It would go quicker if you helped us!" Shikamaru added, annoyed as he struggled to put up a banner.

As Ino incurred her wrath to Shikamaru, Tenten sighed and did her duty. She walked out into the crisp summer day of July. By the time she made it to the Hyuuga manor, Neji's family thing was (thankfully) over. He answered the door and was nothing less than 'pleased' to see her.

"Come on Neji!" She cheered, "I'm going to take you out to dinner."

"Hn, fine, just let me get something for it." He said nonchalantly, "This birthday has been nothing but dull."

He led her to his room so he could get what he needed out of his closet. Tenten sat on his bed as she waited. His room with its white walls on wooden furniture looked so plain in contrast to her blue painted (not to mention messy) room. After a few minutes, he was still looking.

"You found it yet?" She called into the closet.

"No."

She sighed and walked in with him, "How hard can it be to find a-" she cut herself off at the sight of the closet, "THIS IS YOUR CLOSET? IT'S HUGE!"

"Yes, now help me find it." Neji said dryly.

Tenten laughed and helped him look for what he was looking for, "What color is it?"

"Any color will do, I guess."

_SLAM_

They both jumped as the closet door slammed shut on them, leaving them in the dark.

"AHH! It's dark!" Tenten screeched, "I can't see! MOMMY!"

Neji reached up and clicked the overhead light on, ending Tenten's rant. She laughed nervously and tried to open the door.

"Neji, this door is stuck."

"How can it be stuck?" He asked and tried it himself, "Come on you stupid door, open!"

Nothing happened, and he soon gave up. Tenten tried to force the door opened, but it didn't work either. Eventually, she grew tired and sat down on the floor next to him with her hands around her legs.

"Well this stinks."

"It's a shame that the door hinges are on the other side." Neji mused, "It's a real problem."

"How can you be so calm about this?" Tenten asked, "And why are your doors so strong?"

He shrugged and sat in silence. Tenten joined him in the silence for a while, but ended it when she started to bite her nails. Neji noticed by the faint sound of her teeth breaking through the fingernails.

"That's a bad habit you know."

She looked up to see Neji watching her; she hastily put her hand down and scratched at the bitten and worn nail she was working on.

"Sorry, an old habit I guess. I can never remember when I started."

Neji raised an eyebrow at her as she spoke. Her voice seemed to be wavering or something, and why was she blushing? Was nail biting that embarrassing?

"Anyway," She continued, "It's not that bad a habit, and at least I don't smoke like Shikamaru."

(AN: For those who don't know, he picks it up after the time skip and I HATE IT!)

"True." Neji said, "I can't stand smoking."

They spent the next few moments in silence, other than Tenten trying to open the door again. Neji told her to stop, but she was about to continue, when a ringing came to their ears. Tenten gasped and rushed to the door and put her ear to it.

"My cell phone." She said, "How long have we been trapped in here?"

Neji shrugged as the ringing went on. Tenten moaned, "We're in here! Get us out!"

"That only works if the phone is open and on, Tenten." Neji reminded her.

Tenten glared at him and moaned even louder when the phone stopped ringing. She let out a scream and banged her fists against the door, begging to be let out. At first, Neji let her go on this mini rampage. When he finally did stop her, he gripped her wrists and pulled her away from the door. Unfortunately, he was unable to keep his balance, and they wound up in a questionable position.

"Neji! Let go of me and let me kill the door!"

"I can't let you do that."

"I wanna kill it!"

"Sorry, but I can't let you do that."

He hastily moved and they ended up in a different position that was no better than the first. It was a while before either of them caught wind of it.

"IT…MUST…DIE!"

"No!"

"Just let go…of…me."

They finally noticed the position they were in, and scrambled around to get up. Both blushing, they sat in silence once again, only this time it was WAY more awkward. Tenten had fallen on top of Neji with her back to him at first, but when she tried to get up, he maneuvered himself so he was on top, pinning her down with the two of them facing each other.

After an undetermined amount of silence, they knew that one of them had to say something.

"I think my phone's ringing again." Tenten said wearily.

"Mm, hmm." Neji replied, totally unsure what to say to her.

"Neji?" She asked, "When I…fell on you, did it feel, I don't know, right?"

Neji looked surprised at her question, he fumbled around in his brain for the right words.

"More right that spending my 30th birthday in a closet."

Tenten couldn't help herself, she laughed. She had never heard Neji crack jokes that often, but this was the best one yet. Plus it helped lighten the mood a LOT.

"That wasn't that funny." Neji said as he blushed a little.

She shook her head, "I wonder what the others are doing right now."

"I'm guessing you were the stall in a surprise party." Neji said.

"Wha-? How did you know? Did someone blab to you?"

"It's not that hard to guess, and I haven't seen any of the others all day."

Tenten smiled and looked at the ceiling as though it held an answer to their problem. Alas, it held nothing and she was forced to stay locked in Neji's oversized closet with Neji.

Neji was thinking about Tenten's odd behavior of late. The way she was blushing and fumbling with her words, she was like Hinata when she was around Naruto. Something clicked in his brain, and he smirked at her. He carefully inched closer to her as she sat in silence.

She failed to notice that he had scooted closer to her. In fact, by the time she did catch wind of it, he was right next to her. She was surprised at him, but for reasons unknown to her, she didn't complain.

"Tenten," he said softly, "I don't really like pushing things back, emotionally. But I'm not sure it saying what I feel would be appropriate."

She blushed as he snaked his arm around her shoulder. Trying to keep calm, she tried to ask him what he meant, but the words came out all jumbled. Neji smirked and continued.

"I guess actions speak louder than words, so please permit me to act."

He placed a hand on her chin, turned her head, and kissed her. She seemed surprised art first, but decided not to do anything to make him stop.

After all, it was his birthday.

**Meanwhile**

Ino groaned in frustration as she hung up the phone for the second time.

"Tenten isn't answering her phone." She said, "I told her to answer it so she'll know when we're ready, but she isn't picking up."

They had been waiting for a good fifteen minutes, but the guest of honor had yet to show up.

"Hinata, do you know if they even got to the restaurant?" Sakura asked.

The shy Hyuuga shook her head.

"Fine then," Ino growled, "Let's head over to Neji's place and see what the hold up is."

They all filed out of the apartment and eventually found themselves at the Hyuuga manor. Hinata let them in and led them to Neji's room. Ino was first to notice Tenten's bag sitting on the bed.

"So where are they?" Naruto asked.

"Hey," Kiba said, "there's something in the closet."

"We know Kiba." Ino snapped, annoyed, "That's where clothes go."

"No," The dog ninja barked back, "I mean there's something moving in there."

They all rushed over, and heard scuffling noises in the closet. Some faint but muffled voices could be heard as well.

"Maybe they're fighting in there." Lee said.

"The doors jammed." Shikamaru said, "There are coins wedged in the door. Someone must have put it there as a joke."

He removed the coins and opened the door, causing Neji and Tenten to tumble out. They had been leaning against it embracing each other. Her arms were around him and one of his hands was tucked down the back of neck of her shirt. After a strained silence, everyone smirked.

"Well, well, well." Sasuke said, clearly amused, "Hyuuga came out of the closet with a girl in tow. I always figured it be without one."

Everyone let out a laugh as Neji helped Tenten up. He tried not to look annoyed about it, but couldn't help blushing. Tenten was chuckling in spite of herself. As Neji rounded on her for doing so, she quickly pecked him on the lips, successfully silencing everyone.

"Well," She said, "Anyone for cake?"

Silence, "Yeah, that sounds good."

"I just wish I knew who put the coins in the door." Shikamaru said.

In the other room Hanabi grinned and crossed 'Embarrass Neji with a closet' off her list.

**End flashback**

"Well, they have been going steady ever since." Ino admitted, "Some disasters have a way with working themselves out."

"I guess," Said Tenten, blushing.

After the last of the cake eating, everyone put down their plates and sighed with pure happiness at the cake that was now in their stomachs. It was some of the best cake ever, but then gain, all cake was good. (Except for cakes with coconut in them. DX)

"That was delicious, Ino." Kiba said.

"I'll admit." Sakura sighed, "It was great."

"I didn't make it. Shika did."

There was a silence until they finally were able to thank him.

"Shikamaru, I think you killed us."

"I didn't know you could cook."

Shikamaru sighed, "Usually it's too troublesome to cook, but Ino forced me to."

"Well, Ino should force you to cook more often." Naruto laughed.

Everyone else laughed, as Neji and Tenten found the strength to grip each other's hands.

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End of chapter two

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This was the lamest bit of fluff I've ever written, and I can't stop smiling! I was grinning as I wrote this. This was so much of a blast to write, and I hope you liked it too. If you liked it as much as I did, please tell me in a review or something.

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Next chapter: Sakura only had a few things left on her list of things to do before she hit thirty, but some of those things were easier said than done.


	3. Sakura's list

Gah! Chapter three finally is up! I am SO SORRY for the delay. It's final week and we're getting ready to move here, so I've been busy. On a positive note, I love the fact that I'm getting used to this. Thank you to all who read it, it makes me happy! I'm still grinning from the last chapter.

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Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or some of the birthday scenarios.

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Chapter three: Sakura's list

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While the ninja continued to recover from the deliciousness of the cake, Shikamaru was getting his share of praise for making it. If only Ino had kept her mouth shut about it, due to the fact that he hated anything close to moving that wasn't absolutely vital.

"Shikamaru, how come you never told us you could bake?" Naruto asked.

"Because I never liked it and it never came up." He replied, "I never cook when I don't have to."

Ino snorted, "Ain't that the truth." She laughed, "I had to force you up with the fireplace tongs. And I did the frosting when it was done."

"And other than bossing us around, that was all you did."

They all turned away as Ino preceded to give Shikamaru a good series of bashes for that little comment. They may have gotten closer during the past few years, but that part of their relationship was still the same.

Sakura laughed the hardest at the two, she was secretly glad that Ino's thing for Sasuke had waned a bit recently, and she herself had gotten closer to him. Glancing at the boy in question, she had to revel in what they had gone through.

"I think my thirtieth birthday was the most hectic." She said out loud, stealing everyone's attention from the arguing couple.

Tenten mulled the fact over, "Sounds right to me."

"I'll say." Said Naruto, "You had that thing that you were so hyped up about."

Sakura nodded, she would never forget it.

**Flashback**

March 28th, undetermined time, and Sakura was frantic. She had unearthed an old list she put away a few months ago, and only now found it. She thought that it was finished, but several things were still left to do. When she found it, she ran to Ino's house where the other girls were there to wish her a happy birthday.

"I need to finish this today, or bad luck will happen to me." She said.

Ino looked over the list, "Relax." She said at last, "This doesn't look too hard. I bet we can complete it by days end. Lets start by making a fresh list. One that's cleaned up."

Ino quickly jotted down everything that wasn't crossed out onto a clean sheet of paper and looked it over, making adjustments where they needed to be. Sakura had told her she didn't want any surprise parties, but a simple gathering of friends. Although Ino had warned her pink-haired friend, that no party with the Konoha twelve was ever simple.

"Can I see the list?" Tenten asked, Ino obliged and handed it over for the older girl to skim. After a moment, she looked confused, "Sakura? When did you write this? Some of it seems easy enough, but the others…"

"I wrote it a few years ago." She said, "When I first noticed my thirties creeping up on me. I decided that I'd make a list of things to do before then, or else the Haruno family wood elves would eat my spleen."

(AN: Don't ask why, but I think the word spleen is funny.)

Hinata looked at the first thing on the list and knew that they had limited time before the day ended. She informed the others of this little incident, who agreed and took off.

"First item on the list, eat a pure chocolate frosting, nut free coco bar, triple chocolate ice cream smoothie."

It was their misfortune that they had none of those items to begin with, so they had to head to the store to buy some. They would mix and sip back at Ino's house. While they struggled to find the sugary items at hand, they ran into Kiba, Akamaru and Shino.

"Hey Hinata." Kiba said, "What are you doing?"

"Helping Sakura finish a list of things to do by the time she's thirty." Ino said in Hinata's place. "Here's the list, you can look it over if you want."

They did, and noticed something on there that made the Inuzuka very amused. What Hinata didn't know was that she gave them the original list, and that Ino had not noticed one thing written on the back of the paper.

"It's Sakura's birthday today." The Hyuuga said, "So we have to finish it today or her spleen will be eaten."

"Later you guys."

The list was jerked out of their hands before they could contemplate the meaning of the whole spleen thing. The girls sprinted off, leaving them to their imaginations before rushing to the other guys to share a quaint little bit of info.

The girls bought what they needed, and grabbed Ino's blender to make the smoothie of a thousand toothaches. They out in the ice cream first, triple chocolate, because just one or even two chocolates it not enough. The frosting went after that, and then the candy bars, almond and nut free of course. (AN: Almonds are icky!) Ino added a coup-de-gras by adding some dark chocolate to the mix.

"I can feel the enamel on my teeth rotting just by looking at that." Tenten commented, as they turned on the blender to frappe.

The whole thing turned into a dark brown, almost black liquid that sloshed in the cups when poured. It was the tooth fairy's worst nightmare. If the cup had been made of paper, it probably would have melted. If the author of this fic took it, she would lack sleep, write fluff the whole time and start giggling non-stop like she's drunk. You get the idea.

"On three, we drink." Ino said.

"Question! Why are we all drinking it when it's just Sakura who wanted to do it?" Tenten asked dryly, not liking the look of her smoothie.

"Because it's her birthday, and we should take it with her."

Sakura was grateful for them doing this, she may have written the list about a year ago, but the recipe for the smoothie was invented when she was eight. Her mind may have matured, but it apparently was not enough to forget things like the recipe or her crush on an angst-full boy from her childhood.

Not that that has anything to do with the story, but I digress!

"Bottoms up." Sakura said, as they all drained the glasses.

Meanwhile, Kiba and Shino had found the other boys conveniently sitting at the same place looking bored. Kiba walked up to Sasuke and grinned.

"I know something you don't know!" He sang.

Sasuke immediately knew from the dog ninja's tone of voice that he wouldn't like this. It was made worse when Naruto perked up and asked what he was talking about.

"It's Sakura's birthday today."

There was a pause, "Idiot, we know that?" Naruto said, "Why would I forget Sakura's birthday?"

There was long strained pause before Kiba continued, "That's not what I meant. She has a special birthday project. She wrote a list of stuff to do by the time she's thirty, and today she and the other girls are finishing up the list. I saw what was on the list, and it requires something she don't have right now."

"And just what would that be?" Sasuke said.

Kiba grinned and whispered it in his ear. The others couldn't hear him, but whatever it was made his eyes widen and face turn a shade redder.

"Did he strike a chord Uchiha?" Neji smirked

"I think Sakura still has you on the brain." Shikamaru added.  
Sasuke snapped at them to shut up, as Kiba looked triumphant at the look on his face and was about to walk off, when something stopped him.

He could never remember any of the girls when drunk, partly due to him being just as wasted as them, but this classified as at least high or something. Ino was carrying a drained looking Tenten on her back with Sakura holding an icepack on her head and Hinata walking by them, looking fine.

"Girls? What happened?" Lee said as he saw them.

Ino bounded up and tossed a half dead Tenten onto Neji and ran straight back in a flash. Sakura pressed her icepack to her head harder as Ino started taking rapidly. They could barely keep up with her.

"Hi! Shika! We just got back from my place it was fun I think you should come over again you haven't done that in a while what are you doing here are you talking we're talking to I like talking I feel like I could talk all day non-stop for no reason at all as long as I can talk to someone like you because despite your lazy butt you can be a good listener I think good listeners are the best ever so what do you like oh I don't really care I just want to be here and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk I'm hungry."

She spoke all that in the span of about thirty-three seconds, and the boys stared at her like she grew an extra head. Hinata sighed and decided to explain herself and the situation the girls had gotten themselves into.

"We just drank a smoothie containing triple chocolate ice cream, chocolate frosting, and some chocolate bars. Each of them was affected differently."

"So how come you weren't affected?"

"I guess I can hold my sugar better." She said, "Sakura got a bad headache, and Tenten threw up a few times."

Neji quickly moved Tenten's head away from him as Shikamaru quickly suggested some ways to bring down Ino's sugar rush. Sakura took some painkillers and Neji quickly woke up Tenten. (In his own way.) They were unable to calm Ino down, and figured that her hyperactive state would help speed things up.

The girls apologized profusely and left, telling them to get ready for Sakura's party later that night. As they left, Sasuke watched the pink-haired head walking away. He recalled what Kiba told her was on her list.

The girls spend the majority of daylight to finish the list. They got her one full mile on a hippity hop.

"That was harder than I thought." Sakura admitted as she got off the toy.

"How do you feel?"

"…I'd rather not got there."

They all left, but not before a still hyper Ino decided to take the toy with her, for reasons of her own. The others asked why, but all she said was,

"I wanna play with it when I get home!"

After that they somehow got her to jump of the cliff bridge with a bungee cord. It was enough of a task getting her up, but down was a different story.

"Uh, guys? I know I only wrote this list a few years ago, but now that I'm up here I've decided the world can do without having me done this."

Hinata sighed, "Well, I guess we could-"

"FIRE IN THE HOLE!"

A still sugar high Ino hadn't listened to her friend and shoved her off, cheering at her screams of terror.

"Who wants to go next?"

Both Tenten and Hinata backed up, not wanting to go through what Sakura was doing, and Ino wanted someone to jump.

"If you won't go, I will. TALLYHO!"

She leapt off with her bungee cord that the others didn't even realize she had on. They both heard the blonde's high-pitched 'Whee' decrescendo until she stopped moving around on the cord.

"HI SAKURA!"

When they got the two of them down, they moved on to the next item on the list. They wondered if she was really as old as she told them she was when she wrote it, because it read that she wanted to chug down a twenty-ounce thing of soda pop.

"I don't think this one's so bad." Sakura admitted, "With this one, the only after effect will be a belch of some kind."

Hinata was kind enough to buy the pop, but they all agreed to keep in away from a still sugar high Ino. Sakura had no need to share the experience this time, so she shrugged and chugged. She downed the whole thing in a minute, and they waited for the result.

"Nothing."

"Hmm, I expected a sonic boom." Tenten mused.

Sakura also broke one hour using a hula-hoop. This time around the boys noticed her doing so close to where she was about to hit the mark.

"What's that?" Neji asked when he saw it.

"Geez Neji!" Tenten sighed, "You can't be serious in telling me that you've never seen a hula-hoop before."

He was silent, which led to Tenten moaning "Oh, my god! You live under a rock!" while the rest of the boys stared.

"Where do we get one of those?" Kiba asked. They all stared at him for a moment, "What?"

Once that fiasco was over a still sugar high Ino shooed them away so they could finish up the party. The girls ran to the closest shrine. Sakura was looking forward to this for a long time, ever since her cousin nearly shaved her head in a memorial ritual, in a religion she made up. To this day the event was never fully explained.

Once, they got there, Hinata was especially unsure of this one. "Are you sure you want to go through with this one?"

"It's on the list Hinata." Sakura said, "Besides, if I go to hell for it, at least my cousin will have something to tell when she hears from me in the afterlife."

She asked Tenten to be the one to check it off, because Hinata had to watch Ino, who was too hyper to even be let near where they wanted to go. They walked inside the place, turning to a nearby monk.

(AN: Okay, this is a joke, please don't be offended to what they are about to do.)

"Excuse me," Tenten asked, "Is this a holy place? My dear sister is mute and hoped to be blessed by this place."

"Yes, I hope your sister finds enlightenment."

"Oh she will." Tenten said.

There was a moment of silence, until after a moment, Sakura burst out a healthy and rather colorful stream of swears and curses that the author would rather not get into right now due to the rating she gave this story. The monk stared openmouthed at her, and even Tenten stared, not sure weather to be impressed or terrified. When she was done, the pink haired medic raised her arms and declared.

"Yay! It's a miracle!"

They both left feeling very good, and Tenten checked off the list.

"Swear in a holy place."

"I must admit it felt rather good." Sakura laughed.

Eventually…

Ino, STILL sugar high, grabbed all three of her friends and insisted they hurry to the party that was to be held in Sakura's honor. In her fast paced, sugar fueled state, she brought them all to the party place in record time. The guys were waiting when they arrived.

"Happy birthday Sakura!"

"Is Ino still drugged up?" Neji asked Tenten.

She gave him an odd look, "She's not on drugs, she's just sugar high."

"Call it what you like." Neji replied, sipping some punch.

The party was held at a gazebo in the park that was reserved for them. It was a perfectly clear night that held a shiny moon. Not quite a full one, but a bright one nonetheless. A few small torches were propped up for the occasion and the gifts were all set up on a table nearby.

As Sakura enjoyed the festivities, Sasuke stared at the small gift in his hands. He guessed it was not enough; buying it was hard in and of itself. He sighed in annoyance and as he watched his pink haired teammate, whom he had grown somehow closer to, was being wished a happy birthday by her other fellow ninja. As he dwelled in his thoughts, some certain fellow teammates came up to bug him about what Kiba had told him earlier.

"Hey Sasuke!" It was Naruto, "Did you give Sakura her gifts yet? From what I heard, you're gonna give her a second gift."

"Yeah," Kiba laughed, a tad tipsy from his drinks, "Is it the thing I told ya 'bout?"

Sasuke did his best to ignore them as the party went on, he to also had to restrain himself as Lee wished her a great birthday and hugged her by means of a stranglehold. Yes, Sasuke had been very protective of her lately, but he had no idea why.

"So, did you finish your list?"

The girls nodded and showed them the finished work. Kiba looked it over and noticed something missing. He pulled a now painfully sober Ino aside to talk to her.

"There's something different about this one."

"Yeah." Said Ino, holding an icepack to her now aching head, "I made a new copy so it could be more legible."

"Did you read the back of the original?"

"The back?" Ino gasped, taking it out and checking, "Oh, sugar bits."

Things went on, and Sasuke decided to give his gift to her. He walked up to her after taking a deep breath. Why was this so hard?

"Sakura?"

"Yes Sasuke?"

He carefully selected his words, "I'm…happy for you turning thirty. And I wanted to give you something."

"Oh?"

"Yeah." This wouldn't be so hard, now all he had to do was give her the gift. "This-"

"BUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRP!"

The whole thing went silent as Sakura covered her mouth and blushed. The soda finally came up to greet her. Sasuke had taken the brunt of it and looked like he had been met with something that smelled unpleasant.

"Sorry, it was a twenty-ounce soda that just registered." Sakura apologized.

As the party continued and the night droned on, everyone eventually decided to go home. Sakura thanked them all as they left and then left herself. She was going on her own. As she walked, she glanced up at the clear sky. All the stars were twinkling brightly as the moon glowed above her. As she kept walking, Sasuke caught up with her.

"Oh, Sasuke." She said, "Did you enjoy the party?"

"I guess."

"I'm sorry again for the burp," She laughed, "Bad timing I guess."

He said nothing as the two of them walked in the moonlight. Sasuke felt like he had to say something, so he said the first thing that came to mind.

"Did you finish your list?"

She glanced at him and laughed, "Mm, hmm. Now my spleen will be uneaten by elves!"

He tried to make sense of the sentence, but decided not to dwell when she added something, looking perturbed.

"Still, I can't help but feel like I forgot something."

Now that was expected. Kiba had told him after the burp that Sakura had forgotten about the thing on the back of her list. Thinking it over, he got an idea.

"We're here. Thanks for walking me home Sasuke. Sasuke?"

He smirked, took the list that had somehow found it's way to him and held it in front of her.

"Is something the matter, I can't- huh?"

She took the paper and scanned it. Unsure where he was going with the whole thing she glanced up at him, only to see him twirl his finger, telling her to flip it over. She did and saw something scribbled on the back. Her eyes widened and she proceeded to rip the paper up and moan in agony.

"You must be kidding me! I had to put up with hyper Ino, get pushed of a bridge, and all kinds of stuff just to get showed up by THAT! I can not believe-"

She was cut off as Sasuke swooped in and put her mouth to better use. She was silent as her brain registered what he was doing and she carefully leaned in to deepen the kiss. The ripped paper now obsolete as the last thing on the list was barely legible.

"Experience the perfect kiss."

As Sasuke softly broke the kiss, he smirked and jumped away, leaving her at the door to her house. She stood there in a daze, until finally coming to her senses and opening the door. She stopped however, when she saw something on her hand that was not there before. An emerald glistened on her finger as the color matched her eyes. She had thought she felt something slide onto her finger when Sasuke locked lips with her.

She smiled and entered the house, as Sasuke smiled at her from the corner in the shadows. He was happy to help, and even happier to have done the deed, in fact, he felt a lot better.

"Happy birthday."

**End flashback**

Sakura smiled at the memory of her perfect kiss and fingered the ring. Sasuke noticed and averted his gaze. It wasn't like he had the giant desire to do it again or anything. And she still had the ring.

In fact, she never took it off.

-

--

AN: Man I feel good. My fingers are shaking a bit from that last scene and I'm giggling worse than ever. Oddly though, I'm enjoying it. I've never done any Sasu/Saku like this and it feels really good to get it out of my system

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Next time: It's Shikamaru's turn to feel the love of aging, but he's nowhere to be found.


	4. Where's Shika?

GAH! I'm so sorry for the delay! So much stuff happened. First we were getting the house ready to move, then the computer that held this file went down for a few days. It was agony not being able to write this very much, but now it's up and I can calm down a bit. Thank you for your patience.

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Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or any of the characters included in it, but I do own this fiction so HA!

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Chapter four: Where the hell is Shikamaru?

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While Sakura gushed and reveled in the romance of her birthday, Ino was still pounding Shikamaru for his constant comments. By now, everyone had set their cake aside and were just watching the two of them.

"It takes hard work to organize a party." She griped at him. "I spent good time and effort into this and every other party I set up."

They all silently agreed that she did have a point. She was responsible or most of the partying that they did, birthday or not.

"You didn't do anything for me." Shikamaru said, as if it would clear his name.

Boy was he wrong. Ino became even worse and began to use her legs to bring him to he ground. It was like one of those dust cloud fights in old cartoons, and by the time the dust settled, some of them had come to their senses to stop them. Sakura held back Ino, and Shikamaru was led to the couch to mend his pain.

"Ino, I think you may have gone overboard." Sakura told her.

"I'm still recovering from my thirtieth birthday." Shikamaru noted.

Now that was an amusing memory. It was a headache and a laugh at the same time, not to mention how mad Ino became made the whole thing almost a joke.

**Flashback**

September 22nd, mid-morning, and the hectic day started with Ino, banging on the door of Chouji's house. She had to speak to him as soon as possible to relay her plans for his party.

"Okay, I just need you to occupy him until I get everything ready."

"Ino, remember last time you did this?" Chouji warned her,

"Oh, come on. It got Neji and Tenten together didn't it?"

Chouji said nothing as his teammate pulled him along to the birthday boys house. It wasn't far, but she pushed him in the right direction, and went off to get things ready for the party.

Back at her house, Ino had assembled a few helping hands to get things ready. She forced Naruto, Sakura, Sasuke, (who technically had only come along because of Sakura) Lee, and Hinata to decorate and had taken it upon herself to make the cake and snacks. It actually wasn't the best job for her, but she thought of it as something she had to do for him. She wasn't sure why, but she did. ; )

Her first few attempt at the cake were not as good as planned, she forgot to grease the pan the first time, so it tore apart. The second time ended up a blackened mess. When she finally got it done perfectly, she refused to let anyone touch it. While she was reveling in her victory, her cell phone rang.

"Uh, Ino?" It was Chouji, "We have a problem."

"What kind of problem?" Ino said, "What's up with Shika?"

The others paused as Ino listened to her teammate. They all jumped a foot in the air as she burst out in rage.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU CAN'T FIND HIM?"

"W-well, he wasn't at home, and the Hokage said he's not on a mission. I tried his favorite places, but he's not there."

There was a long pause, and they all thought Ino would blow up. She took a deep breath, and let it out slowly.

"Where are you now?" she asked in a dangerous tone.

"Um…near the academy."

"Meet me at Ichiraku ramen, we'll all look for him."

She hung up, and glanced at the others, who had stared at her. She had said 'all' meaning she intended to force the others into it.

"Naruto, you stay here and finish decorating. The others will help me find him." She said plainly.

"Hey, why am I staying?"

She glared at him and he shriveled up. They all bore similar looks at Ino's state of rage, "I'll be back in an hour to frost the cake, until then you are not to touch it. Understand Naruto?"

He nodded meekly and returned to the decorations. He was putting up a sign that said, 'congratulations, you're 30 (crossed out) old!' and used his kage bunshin no jutsu to help when they left.

"Where do we look first Ino?" Hinata asked.

She sighed, "He might be with Asuma, I'll look for him." She gestured to the others, "Sakura, you and Sasuke go check the fields, he's bound to be sleeping like the lazy bum he is right now if he's not there, try the park. Hinata and Lee, you look around the parlors in case he's playing Shogi or Go with old men. Call me on my cell if you find him."

They all nodded and split up. Sakura and Sasuke got to the fields, but at first glance, saw nothing. They wandered around for a moment, calling for Shikamaru, but he didn't respond.

"Perhaps he's just hiding from everyone." Sasuke suggested.

"But why would he hide?" Sakura chided him, "Why would he hide from us when he's turning thirty and likely getting a…surprise party…" She trailed off, "Maybe he is hiding from us."

Sakura didn't know Shika as well as the others, but she did know enough to call him a friend. Still, it would have been nice to grab a cup of coffee between missions, and Sasuke had only gotten to know him after he returned to the village. The only times they ever did eat out with Shikamaru was when everyone else was there with them.

After a while, she saw someone else and walked up the them, while Sasuke kept looking out in the field. It was a young woman and her boyfriend sitting near a tree. She went up and figured maybe they saw the birthday boy.

"Excuse me," She asked, "Have either of you seen a boy around here. He has brown hair that reminds you of a pineapple?"

The woman gave a surprisingly sharp look and said, "I haven't seen anyone around here, but--- stop looking at her you sick (biscuit)!"

(AN: Excuse my weird way of bleeping out cussing, it was the best way I could think of.)

Sakura was startled at the sudden outburst, which she realized was directed at her boyfriend. He denied looking at her, but the woman kept hounding him.

"I wasn't looking."

"Shut the (fudge) up you son of a (witch)!"

"But I-"

"Eyes of the girl you disgusting pervert!"

Sakura watched, unsure what to say, as Sasuke came up to her, having heard the shouting.

"Is something wrong here?" He asked.

"No," Sakura said hastily, "No but they haven't seen him."

She led Lee a little ways away and spoke to him about the issue. Shikamaru was not in the fields.

"Okay, I'll call Ino and we'll meet up with her." She whipped out her cell phone and was about to dial, when she noticed something. "Sasuke? He's looking at me."

The boyfriend was peeking out from behind the tree at Sakura, giving her eyes. Sasuke glanced around and saw the look he gave her, causing him to rush up and shout at the man.

"Hey! Where do you get off?" The normally collected Uchiha shouted, "Wanna live to see next week?"

"HEY!" The woman shouted, "Keep away from my man you sick (biscuit)!"

Both of them stared at the woman as she went on.

"Back of you little (witch)! (Sugar)!"

Sasuke gripped Sakura's shoulders and stepped back slowly as the woman kept on ranting about what (biscuits) they were. When they were sure that they were far enough away, Sakura dialed Ino.

---**Meanwhile**---

Hinata and Lee had little luck finding Shikamaru in the Shogi parlor, and even less in the Go parlor. Hinata asked the ladies at both counters if they had seen him, but they both had the same response.

"The pineapple boy? Haven't seen him. It's a shame too, because some of our guests wanted to try and beat him too."

They both left the parlors, dejected. Hinata wan unsure what to do, but Lee, being Lee, was the over-exuberant beam of light that could readily blind you and not realize it, had a backup plan.

"It is simple." He said, using only his way of speaking, "We will never find him unless we look in the most obvious places. If you were un-youthful and did not want to be found, where would you go?"

(Oh GOD I can't believe I just typed that.)

Hinata thought about it, "W-well, someplace dark and out of reach. A place where most of the attention would be on something else."

"YOSH! The movie theater it is then!"

"Huh?"

Hinata could not stop as Lee gripped her hand and pulled her in the direction of the movies. There was really nothing she could do as the green clad ninja sped through Konoha with her just flying out from behind him. By the time they did reach the theater, they were a but surprised to find it roped off with a tarp over it.

"Closed due to rats, roaches, and other assorted vermin and pests." Hinata read from the notice sign, sweat dropping.

"Oh, what rotten luck." Lee said, "Shikamaru couldn't be in there."

Hinata looked around for a moment, and finally saw someone who might help. Neji and Tenten were walking in their general direction, either on a date or coming back from training.

"Neji! Tenten!"

They both froze. The one to shout their names had not been Hinata, but Lee. And Hinata guessed from the way the reacted that they were in fact on a date. That and she could not help but hear Lee's next outburst.

"Why are your hands in each others back pockets?"

There was an awkward silence before Tenten spoke up, "We, uh…were just putting things back there without…having to stop." She trailed off as they carefully slipped their hands out.

"Oh, I see."

The three of them nearly face vaulted at Lee as he rambled on. It took a moment for Hinata to push Lee aside gently and explain the problem. Once she was done, Neji sighed.

"Somehow I figured." He said, "Shikamaru once mentioned to me that he'd rather avoid a hassle of a party the Ino would obviously throw."

"Did he say where he might go if this happened?" His cousin asked.

He shook his head, leaving them off no better than they were before the couple arrived.

"What are you two doing anyway?" Lee spoke up.

"We wanted to see a movie, but it's closed." Tenten said, "What kind of theater gets infested with rats and insects to the point of this? How did it even happen? I bet some idiot did this as a bad prank."

Back at Ino's apartment, Naruto sneezed. He was almost done putting up the last banner, when he sneezed and dropped it on himself. He sat up and managed to escape from the now entangled banner and moaned.

"Why me?" He said as he dispelled the kage bunshin no jutsu, poof-ing away clones he made to get done faster. He was about to try and put it up again, when the phone rang. He picked it up, and had his ears nearly blown off.

"IS HE THERE?" It was Ino.

"No Ino." Naruto replied, "Geez! I think I'm now deaf in my right ear."

The girl sighed, "I just got a call from Sakura and Hinata. They can't find him. I'm going to find Asuma, and if I can't find him I'm coming back."

She hung up, annoyed. She had searched the park, but he wasn't there, so now the only place left was with Asuma. She knew he'd be at his place on his day off, and by the time she got there she was more than ticked off. She knocked hard on the door, and her sensei opened it, looking a bit disheveled.

"Yes? Oh, Ino. What is it?" He said, sounding a bit out of breath for some reason.

She didn't ponder her sensei's actions and went straight to the point, "Where's Shikamaru? We planned a party for him but we can't find him. Was he with you at all today?"

"Er, yeah. I bought him lunch."

Ino sighed, she should have known. "Well where is he now?"

"I don't know, I think he went home. Okay bye!" And with that, he just shut the door in her face.

"Who was that?" Kurenai asked,

"Just Ino, now lets continue."

She shrugged "Suit yourself, but aren't you tired?"

"No way! I am determined to beat you. Now set up the ping pong table one more time!"

(AN: You thought it was something dirty, didn't you?)

Ino sighed, and trudged back to her apartment after calling the others. Telling them to give it up and head back home because night had fallen and it was too late anyway. She moaned and wondered where he might be, when she opened the door to her apartment.

"Hey Ino."

There was Shikamaru, sitting there eating cake.

"Did I miss the party?" He asked.

"…"

There was a silence, until Ino exploded. "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN BY THAT? I WORKED SO HARD TO FIND YOU, NOT TO MENTION BAKE THAT CAKE? WHO LET YOU IN?"

Shikamaru was unfazed by the outburst and jerked a thumb over to a sleeping Naruto. He hadn't even stirred when Ino yelled.

"He said I got here about after you called from Asuma's." Shikamaru continued, "The other's haven't come back yet."

Ino just stood there, at a loss for words. Shikamaru sighed, stood up, and walked to the door, but paused before turning back to her.

"Just so you know," He said, "That cake tasted good."

With that, he kissed her on the forehead, and walked out. As he opened to door, Sasuke, Sakura, Hinata, Lee, Neji, and Tenten nearly fell out from behind it. They stared at Shika until one of them came to their senses.

"Surprise!" Sakura shouted, with the rest following in tow.

Shikamaru smiled, and shut to door in their faces. "Mind if I spend the night here?"

**End flashback**

Shikamaru sighed at the memory. Ino had busied herself with putting the cake away, until Naruto asked for another piece. She rolled her eyes and gave it to him.

"Hey Ino," Sakura asked, "Did you ever make another cake since Shikamaru's birthday?"

Ino thought about it, and turned to Shika, who blushed and looked away., "Well, not by myself."

-

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End of chapter four! At Last! I am SO SORRY for that delay, but I have the feeling it might happen again. In case it does, I have a backup plan where I take a goat, sacrifice it to the gods of fanfiction, and receive a nifty computer that needs no battery or plug in to take anywhere, and idea button for brain farts!

-.-

I wish. Anyway, no mouth to mouth action, but a very fluffy conclusion with some humor. The Asuma/Kurenai thing happened without me realizing it, but I think it fits for some reason.

O.o

Next time: Er, I can't decide on who to do next, so if you have one that you really need to have up, tell me now and I'll see what I can do. You can't have Hinata next because she's ongoing, and the sand siblings are planned to have their own special chapter.

Thank you!


	5. Ino's…problem

Okay, chapter five, a milestone in my eyes! For this one, I wanted to do something a bit bigger in the line of funny, and that meant the one planned for Ino. In FRIENDS, there was one birthday that everyone recalls, and for this one, only Ino fit the bill. I hope you like it.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything, but when I take over the world all that will change.

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Mwa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

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Chapter five: Ino's…er, problem.

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-

As Naruto chomped on his extra piece of cake, Shikamaru was finally getting a break from the wrath of his female teammate. She had put away the food and the rest of them were still working it off, when he mentioned something.

"You know, despite my 30th birthday being almost nonexistent, yours was better described as a fiasco."

There was a silence as everyone, even Ino agreed to that. She didn't even raise a fist at it. What's more, hers was the day after Shika's.

**Flashback **

September 23, eight a.m., with Ino just waking up for her birthday. She was groggy from the memories of the previous night, where Shikamaru had been AWOL the whole time, and wound up simply kissing her forehead.

She had been lying in her bed for a good chunk of the night, trying to contemplate the whole thing. But no matter how hard she tried the reason still eluded her. She turned down his offer to spend the night, and kicked him out when he asked.

"(Fudge) you, Shikamaru." She muttered after finally forcing herself out of bed a few hours later.

In her drained stupor, she even forgot what day it was now, as proved when the other girls came up to her in a nearby coffee house where she was nursing her exhaustion with a decaf and some sweet-n-low. (Ugh)

"Er, Ino?" Sakura asked when she saw her old rival dump more of the foul false sugar in her drink, "Are you, okay?"

There was a pause as she sipped the coffee from a ridiculously thin straw, "Shika kissed my forehead."

The other three girls gasped, "He did?" they all asked at once, "When?"

"Yesterday, when I found him eating the cake at his party."

They glanced at each other, "Well, how exactly did he deliver the kiss?" Tenten asked, "Did he say anything beforehand."

"Oh, nothing much, just that the cake tasted good."

"Oh."

Ino glanced at the three of them, "What do you mean, 'oh?'"

Hinata piped up, "Well, Shikamaru has always regarded you…well, differently from everyone else."

"Whenever you do your mind transfer jutsu, he's the one holding you," Tenten put in, "He normally is not fond of girls, and he deals with you every single day."

"Thanks Tenten," Ino grumbles as her head slumped on the table.

Sakura quickly took a seat next to the blonde kunoichi and pulled the coffee away from her. She grumbled at first, but let Sakura take the gross beverage.

"So what?" She mumbled, "Does this mean Shikamaru likes me? I'm having a nervous breakdown!"

"Oh," Tenten said, "Not the best thing to happen on your birthday."

Ino's head popped up, "What?"

The three of her friends glanced at each other.

"Ino…" Sakura said slowly, "You do remember that your birthday is today, right after Shikamaru's, and you turned 30 today, right?"

The look on her face told them that she did not remember, and her shout told them that she wasn't taking it well.

"What? I'm 30? That can't be true? I don't even have a boyfriend? I can't be OLD!"

Sakura griped Ino by the shoulders, "Ino, calm down, we don't need another experience like Lee."

She took a deep breath to calm down, and sighed. The others weren't sure what this could spell out for the party that they were going to put on. Shikamaru's was small-scale, and so they had plenty of opportunity to put up a bigger bash, they even invited her parents.

"Okay," Sakura said, "Here's what we'll do. You will go to back to your place to take a nap, because you need one, then you'll come to my place and we'll all celebrate with the others. Okay?"

Ino reluctantly nodded and went with Tenten back to her apartment, while Hinata and Sakura quickly called her apartment, where the party was being set up. Due to all the irony in the world, it was Shika who answered the call. Of course, Sakura wasted no time in snapping at him.

"What's this I hear about you kissing Ino?"

He sighed, "I was being nice, and enjoyed the cake she made."

"But to kiss her?" Sakura sad, exasperated, "She's now fully freaked out and sipping sweet-n-low. Now you had better make sure you don't screw anything else up. Me and Hinata are heading over there while Tenten keeps an eye on the birthday girl."

They both hung up, and went about with the plans. They rest of them either went about the day, or set up the party. While they worked, Ino was sleeping her troubles away as Tenten went back to the set up.

**-Time jump-­**

A few hours later, the party had gone underway, and everyone was there. Including Ino's parents, who had come down for their only daughters special day.

"I brought a camera." Inoichi (Ino's dad) said, "Could someone hold it for me?"

He shoved it into the hands of the nearest person, and that person happened to be Naruto. He turned it on and began recording, evil thoughts running through his head. Sasuke eyed him wearily as the loudmouth ninja shoved that camera into everyone's face.

"Of all the people to give it to, why did it wind up in Naruto's hands?" He murmured to himself.

On the couch, Sakura was interrogating Shikamaru about the kiss. Neji and Tenten watched on the side as the conversation went on.

"Seriously, Shika." Sakura as saying, "Ino was freaked out. Why on earth would you do something like that?"

He shrugged, "I don't know, it seemed appropriate at the time."

"But still-!"

"Ah!" Tenten mused from her seat in Neji's lap. (What can I say, it's my favorite pairing.)

"Ah, what?" The genius sighed.

"You love her."

At that, his eyes snapped open. "No I don't!"

"Sure you do." Tenten squealed, "Why else would you put up with her all the time, not to mention kiss her after complimenting her baking skills."

"Hey, I do not love Ino." Shikamaru said firmly, "That kiss was a…a one time thing and I was just being polite."

"Hmm?" The weapons mistress giggled, "I couldn't understand you. You were speaking the secret language of love!"

Tenten continued to mock Shikamaru, while Neji and Sakura watched with interest. Elsewhere, Hinata had taken to following Naruto as he held to camera, to make sure he didn't do anything too insane. He had the camera pointed at Lee and Shino, who were talking-ish.

"Hey Lee. What do you think of the party?" Naruto asked.

"It's very nice Naruto. And I promised not to freak out about aging this time. I learned my lesson."

Naruto looked at Hinata, who giggled, before turning the camera to Shino, "Anything to say?"

There was a silence, before he said a slow monotonous, "Ino is coming."

"Huh?"

Then, Kiba came running into the apartment.

"Ino's coming! Hide!"

Everyone hid and someone turned off the lights. There was a pause, as the sound of jangling keys was heard. A fumbling noise was heard and then a silence. Everyone looked at each other. Sakura pushed Shikamaru out of his hiding place.

"Find out what's wrong!" She snapped!

"Okay, okay."

He opened the door and peeked out into the hallway, before Sakura forcible kicked him out as the door slammed shut behind him. He glared at the door before turning and seeing a sight he wished he didn't have to see.

"HEY, YOU GOT THE DOOR OPEN!" Ino said in a loopy manner.

She was drunk. It was obvious in every angle. She was slumped against the door across the hall and giggling stupidly. Shikamaru was now entering panic mode.

"Oh my god, what happened?" He asked, trying to calm down.

She screwed up her face in concentration, "Well, I was all depressed about that kiss of yours and me turning 30, so I went to a bar near my place, and then I somehow got here."

"You're drunk!" He said. "You can't be drunk!"

She looked at him with a pouty frown, "Why not?"

Had she not been drunk and the situation been different, he would have found her look cute, but now was not the time. "There's a party for you in there. Your parents are there."

She gasped, "No! My parents have never seen me drunk."

"Okay," Shikamaru assure her, doing his best to put 'panic mode' away, "I'll take you inside, you act surprised, and we'll get you some pills and coffee and clean you up."

"You're so smart." She said, giggling again as he helped her up, "And I totally forgive ya for the kiss thing. You're kinda cute."

She leaned in and kissed him, on the lips. He blanched as she pulled away, "We're gonna have to do something about your breath."

"What about your breath?"

"No that's still yours."

Shikamaru steadied Ino, and held her hand as he led her inside.

"SURPRISE!" Everyone shouted.

"AAAHHHHHH!" Ino yelled in very fake surprise.

**Very short, like five minute time jump**

Sakura, Tenten, Neji, Hinata, and Naruto all came up to Shikamaru in a very accusing fashion. They all had noticed Ino acting off, and this was going a bit far.

"What is up with her?" Sakura demanded.

Shika glanced around to make sure Ino's parents were out of earshot. "Ino's drunk."

They all gaped at him as he did his best to explain the situation. Tenten blinked, "I love drunk Ino! She's so much fun!"

They gave her a look and Shikamaru looked to Sakura, "I need you to clean her up and change her clothes."

"Are you sure you don't want to do it?" Sakura jabbed as she went into Ino's room where the drunk girl waited, Hinata followed close behind.

"I'll make some coffee, but I don't know what else to do?" Shikamaru said, ignoring the pink haired girl's words. "This is a disaster. If I hadn't kissed her maybe she wouldn't have gotten plastered." He rubbed his temples, trying to push back an oncoming headache.

"Yeah, just keep rubbing your head." Neji said sardonically "That'll turn back time."

"I got it!" Tenten exclaimed, "I'll get twice as drunk and Ino, and everyone will look at me and forget about her."

The boys sweat dropped as she grabbed two glasses of wine and downed them both. As she grabbed some more, Naruto kept on filming.

"Ah, the tragedy. The birthday girl is wasted, and her folks don't even know. I haven't had this much fun since the ramen truck turned over in the non chlorinated, unused swimming pool."

**Yet another five to eight minute time jump**

Ino carefully stepped out of her room, wearing a purple knee length dress with matching shoes. Sakura and Hinata watched her stumble awkwardly around the apartment and miraculously not trip.

"I tell ya, it's like watching Bambi learn how to walk." Sakura told Hinata.

Shikamaru went over to Ino and made sure to keep her steady, "Are you okay? Things will go off fine just as long as you keep smiling, and don't talk to anyone."

"SPEECH!" Came Tenten's slightly slurred voice as she clanged her glass with a spoon. "Speech from the birthday girl."

Everyone who didn't know about Ino's drunkenness went along with a cry of speech, while those who did were all giving Tenten a look of astonishment.

"Tenten!" Shikamaru hissed.

"No, it's working. Everyone's looking at me." Tenten assured him, "I haven't even taken my top off yet."

While Neji did his best to calm her down. Ino stood in the center of the room and almost fell, Shika caught her.

"Hey, Shikamaru." Naruto said camera on the two of them, "You can't keep your hands off her."

"Aw, I think it's sweet." Ino's mother cooed. (Does anyone know her name?)

"I think it's necessary." Shika said through gritted teeth.

He backed away so Ino could speak, she thought for a second, before taking a breath and getting down to it.

"Uh, hey everyone. I guess I'd like to thank everyone for coming. Eating the leftovers in the fridge. And I wanna thank my friends for throwing this. I mean, I'm usually the one who puts together parties."

Shikamaru stared at Ino, for a drunk she wasn't doing half bad. Naruto filmed her in silence.

"And its great that were all here, and I just wanna say…" she paused, "You know what I really wanna say?"

Another pause, and Shika felt impending doom.

"I'M DRUNK!" Everyone gasped, "That's right mom and dad, your little Ino-chan is HAMMERED!"

The parents stared at their daughter, as if expecting her to say 'gotcha' but the ramble kept going.

"And you know what? I've been drunk before! I never smoked, but I lip kissed Shika so that kinda counts! You getting this Naruto-kun? I kissed Shika after he kissed me yesterday!"

Everyone stared at Shikamaru, who was waiting for a train to hit him.

"But it's okay." Ino went on, "Because I turned 30 today, and can say without remorse that I love Shika! Because I am a grownup!"

And with her peace spoken, she passed out and fell to the floor. There was a strained silence.

"Kiba, quick!" Tenten said, "Help me get my shirt off."

**End flashback (that was along one)**

"You know," Naruto said, "I still have that tape."

Everyone stared at him, "I'm afraid to ask this," Sasuke said, "But why?"

"It was funny. I brought it over if anyone wants to watch."

They all looked at him strangely.

"Naruto!"

"You brought it with you?"

"Pervert!"

Pause

"I'll watch it."

"Sure"

"Why not."

The girls all looked shocked as Naruto handed over the tape and set up the VCR. As he did so, Ino glanced over at Shikamaru, who had yet to say anything. He opened on eye and looked back at her, before closing it again with a smile.

Ino huffed as she heard the tape play, before deciding 'what the heck' and watched along with them.

Hey, she was going out with Shika thanks to that.

-

-

Finished. But I think my fingers fell off. No, they're just bleeding. Ouch. Maybe I should stop chewing on my fingernails. Anyway, I hope you liked it, because it was so much fun to write. I have a grin on my face that can't be removed.

-

Next chapter, uh, I'll do Naruto's next. But he won't be pleased with what I have in store for him.


	6. Naruto's accident

Amaya: And with the victory of chapter five, chapter six rolls around with something a bit more original.

Millie: Naruto is going to loath you for this.

Naruto: I will?

Rei: Probably, but it will be so worth it.

Amaya: Indeed it shall, trust me. /insert evil laughter here./ You know, stuff like this would never be possible in the world outside my head, that's why I stay in my own world. Huh? The real world is coming to get me, I can feel it. YOU WON'T TAKE ME ALIVE/battles the real world to the death while Naruto, Millie, and Rei watches./ Never stood a chance. Now for the disclaimer, Naruto-kun, if you would?

Naruto: Right! Amaya does not own anything (and for some reason I'm glad for that) except what she has in store for me. Dattebayo! Hey, what do you have in store for me?

Amaya: You shall see. /grins evilly/ You shall see.

-

-/evil laughter/

-

Chapter six: Naruto's accident

"I still can't believe you did that Tenten."

"It was for Ino."

"You give the strangest gifts then."

They were still watching the tape of Ino's birthday, also known as the week Inoichi almost killed Shikamaru, Neji nearly died from keeping Tenten in line, and Tenten nearly jumped off the apartment roof nude save for a lampshade. (She was REALLY drunk) There were a lot of close calls. They were all either laughing or moaning at the memories that Naruto had put on tape. Finally, it ended with an annoyed Neji grabbing the camera out of his hands and the tape going fuzzy.

Naruto laughed the whole time, "Man, what a disaster."

"You know Naruto," Kiba said as Sakura rewound the tape, "If memory serves, your 30th birthday was no walk in the park either."

Naruto shrank a bit in his seat an he recalled what had happened. It was less than stellar, to be true. Not only that, but it had caused him more pain than anyone else.

**-Flashback-oh goody-**

October tenth, ten-thirty am. Naruto was training a bit, as usual. Sakura and Sasuke were elsewhere, so he took the time to himself. He was practicing some shuriken throwing, when it happened.

He had aimed a little too high, and the shuriken bounced off the target. However, as it flew it hit a nearby tree that he used to practice the rasengan. The thing is, he used it on the same tree more than once, and the weakened tree was hit in just the right place to crack and start to fall. Naruto, who was not completely hopeless, heard it fall and rushed up a different tree. Unfortunately for him, he had used up quite a bit of chakra in all that training he did and not to mention he was a tad bit distracted. It caught him at a bad time and hurtling towards the ground, and he landed right on his butt.

(AN: You have no idea how much I debated on using that method of self-inflicted pain.)

As he was pretty sure that he had heard a snapping noise, he prayed that it was his leg and not something else.

Thankfully, just as he felt pain in his rear end, Lee chose this moment to bound up with all his 'youthful' (man, I hate that word now) energy. He was about to practice by doing a thousand kicks, and a billion punches with the trees etc., when he saw Naruto, squatting in pain.

"Er, Naruto," Lee said slowly, "It's nice to see you and all, but shouldn't you be on the toilet?"

Naruto glared at him, and explained what happened. If it weren't Lee and someone else who found him, Naruto would have been laughed at. But it was Lee, who took him to the hospital after the explanation.

Sakura looked at him, fairly exasperated, "So what happened here? Or is it best I don't ask?"

Naruto had injured his…er, tush, and had to be propped up in a way so he wasn't sitting on it. When Sakura heard the explanation from Lee, she laughed out loud. Naruto moaned,

"Gee Sakura," He mumbled, "How supportive."

"I'm sorry Naruto." She chocked out, "But with a tale like that, how can I not laugh." She inspected his rump, careful not to actually touch it, "It seems you just cracked a bone, it should heal up soon."

Naruto moaned, "You mean to say I broke my butt?"

If Sakura was laughing hard before, now she was rolling on the ground, and even Lee stifled a chuckle. Naruto sent glares Lee's way, and moans in Sakura's direction. The two of them quickly stopped laughing and Sakura explained Naruto's situation a bit better.

"Well, I can mend the bone, but I'm afraid we've run out of sedatives for the pain. It will hurt like a mother for the rest of the day. So don't sit down unless you want pain up your backside."

She quickly healed the break, and stood him up. He felt alright, until he forgot her words already and tried to sit again. He wound up on his knees grabbing his rear. Sakura immediately began scolding him,

"I told you not to sit." She said, "The pain should die down, but if you sit again the same thing will happen, and it'll take longer to stop."

"Right." The unfortunate blonde said weakly.

The pink haired medic sighed, "I'll see what I can do about those sedatives, in the meantime, you keep off your butt." She suddenly remembered something, "Oh, and happy birthday."

He soon got up and left the hospital, moaning at his luck. Heroes usually had ridiculously high amounts of good luck, he must have used it up in the last fight. Either that or his luck had chosen to desert him at the last moment. Whatever the reason, he was not very lucky right now.

Feeling hungry, he decided to go get some ramen. Yes, some piping hot ramen of that brisk October day would do him a world of good. He raced to Ichiraku as fast as his pained butt would allow him. He was surprised to see team ten already there.

"Hey, Chouji, Ino, Shikamaru. What's up?"

They glanced at him, "The usual." Shikamaru said, "Ino wanted to sit down and Chouji was hungry."

"Heh, figures with you guys." Naruto said, "I'd like some shrimp ramen please."

He moved to the stool nearest him, before remembering Sakura's warning, and the pain that came with it. He hesitated, and kept standing, ignoring the strange looks he got from team ten.

"Err, Naruto?" Ino asked, "What was that? You were about to sit, gave the stool a weird look, and backed off."

Naruto opened his mouth to tell them about his accident, then remembered Sakura laughing at him. If they knew he injured his booty, he'd become the laughing stock of Konoha. He shut his mouth and thought up the only thing his brain would let him believe.

"Oh, no reason, I just felt like standing."

They looked at him oddly, when his ramen finally came. He thanked the man and picked it up.

"Ow!"

The bowl was really hot. Apparently his luck was not totally gone, as the bowl clunked back onto the wood. He chuckled as team ten stared at him again, and he took a deep breath and gripped the bowl again. Ignoring the burning sensation on his palms, he slurped up every piece of ramen before drinking the broth left behind.

"You know Naruto," Shikamaru said, "You could have used a napkin or something."

Naruto grimaced at those words, but did his best to shrug them off. At least the pain in is posterior was forgotten.

"N-Naruto?"

A familiar shy voice popped into his ears, and he turned around to see Hinata standing there. Ino perked up behind him and gave him a little push.

"Ino, knock it off." Naruto snapped, before turning to Hinata, "Hey Hinata, what's up?"

"I, err, wanted to take you to somewhere for your birthday. Is that alright?"

Naruto smiled, "That sounds great."

He didn't notice Ino's fist pump in victory behind him, or Shikamaru roll his eyes. As Hinata took Naruto's hand, he winced.

"Oh, I'm sorry Naruto." She cried, "Did you hurt your hand?"

He shoved them in his pockets, "Not all that much."

"Then lets go."

She led him down the streets with a happy, innocent smile, that Naruto thought was cute. She glanced at him, gulped nervously, and somehow managed to work up the courage to grip his arm affectionately. Naruto was smiling and enjoying her company, but when they got to their destination, he swore someone screamed.

"The movies?" He asked.

"Err, yes." Hinata said shyly, "The new Yukie Fujikaze film is out, and I know you wanted to see it."

Naruto's mind began turning, he could either say yes and spend about two hours sitting, or he could say no and possibly hurt Hinata's feelings. Being the sweet, lovable knucklehead he was, he decided to risk it.

Ooh, the pain. He was at least lucky to have the soda to cool his burnt hands, but that meant his patootie was searing with pain. A few times, Hinata noticed him grimacing, but he assured her that it was just the film, and his burned hands. Eventually the movie ended, and Hinata confronted him outside the theater.

"Are you sure you're all right Naruto?" She asked, concerned, "It seems to be more than your hands. It's not me, is it?"

He sighed and gave up, "No, it's not you. I actually got an injury a little while ago. Sakura told me that she can't make the pain stop until they get more pain relievers."

"Oh, I'm so sorry." Hinata gasped.

Naruto actually laughed, "Don't be sorry. It's not your fault."

"Where did you get hurt?"

Naruto paused, not sure what to say in front of her, "Let's just say I'd ask you to kiss it better, but I don't think you wanna kiss there."

She blushed in understanding, "R-right. Um, Shall we go."

They walked around in silence, feeling very awkward. Naruto was at least glad she didn't laugh, but Hinata was too nice to laugh at his current ailment. As they walked Naruto's luck deserted him once again as Kakashi (HE LIVES) met up with them.

"Oh, Hello Naruto, Hinata." He said nonchalantly.

"Hey, Kakashi-sensei." Naruto called, "You do remember what day it is right?"

"Hmm? Oh yes, Happy birthday Naruto."

He grinned his toothy, foxy grin, as Hinata giggled and Kakashi's visible eye crinkled in a smile. Naruto almost forgot the pain in his rump, however Kakashi began to speak again and bring things back to reality.

"Sakura told me about your accident. Ice should dull the pain." And with that, he walked away reading his smut novel. Naruto glanced at Hinata, took her hand, and ran over to his place.

"What is it Naruto?" She asked.

"Kakashi sensei is right." Naruto called back, "I can't spend another moment with my booty in agony."

They both ran pretty fast, and didn't notice some familiar people they bumped into. When they finally got there, he opened the fridge and dumped as much ice as he could into a plastic bag. He tried to sit on it, but it didn't help.

"Err, Hinata?"

"Hmm?"

Naruto blushed, "I can't hold this on my butt while I tie it on. I'm gonna need you to hold it in place for me."

Hinata blushed and began conflicting in her mind. On the one hand, she would be awfully close to touching his butt, but on the other, he was in pain, and she would be close to touching his butt.

"All right. As long as no one sees."

She picked up the ice, and pressed it gently against his rear. He grabbed a string and began to tie it firmly in place. Just as he was getting the knot done, the door opened.

"Hello? It's Kiba, Neji and Tenten." The voice was Tenten's, but the fact that she mentioned others did not bode well. "We saw you two pass by and-"

The three of them looked into the kitchen, just in time to see Hinata, with her hands on Naruto's gluteus maximus . Both of the men glowered, and looked like death would come to him. Naruto paled at the sight of them, and backed away as Neji and Kiba performed harsh darkness and evil too Naruto, while Tenten talked to Hinata.

"Are you alright Hinata?" She asked, "Why were your hands on Naruto's fanny?"

She sighed, and explained. Just as she figured, the weapons mistress let out a hearty laugh. Hinata gulped and waited for the older girl to stop, and when she did, Hinata pointed at the scene of carnage.

"Ack! Neji! Kiba! Knock it off!"

They stopped, and Tenten explained what happened. Kiba howled with laughter, and Neji smirked a bit. Hinata cut into their laughter.

"Um, that might be funny, but what about Naruto?"

The four of them turned their heads slowly at Naruto, who was lying there beaten with him tush in more pain then ever. Although, to be honest his whole body was alight with pain, but it would be better for everyone if we kept the rating as is and cut to the hospital rather than describe what they had done to him.

**Later,**

"Cheer up Naruto, at least were all here for your birthday."

"Some birthday, I'm in the flipping HOSPITAL!"

Alas poor Naruto, we knew him. He was lying face down in a hospital bed, with his bum in medical traction. It was wrapped up and sticking in the air as ropes held it up, similar to when a broken leg needs support, but much funnier. The rest of the Konoha twelve had shown up, but weather it was to wish him a happy birthday and/or speedy recovery was less likely to the assumption that they were simply there to laugh at him.

"Hey!" Ino cheered, "Who wants to sign Naruto's cast?"

"What? No!" Naruto moaned, but sadly he had no choice in the matter, and was crowded with people with pens.

They each wrote a little something on the booty cast, and each one was some funny or stupid line.

Shikamaru sighed, "Never in all my live did I imagine I'd be signing Naruto's a-"

"Shika!" Ino screeched, "Don't swear!"

They each wrote with a sharpie that Ino brought just for the occasion, things like, 'Nice booty for your booty', 'Don't you dare rip one', or in Neji's case, 'touch her again and I'll make sure you have more of these everywhere'.

Finally, Hinata was the only one who had yet to sign the cast. Everyone began to egg her on to write something.

"Come on Hinata," Ino squealed, "You won't actually be touching it."

Sakura nodded, "It doesn't matter what you write. It's for Naruto, after all."

"B-but…"

"Go ahead Hinata." Naruto said after a few stutters from the shy young woman, "What you write can't be half as bad as what they probably wrote."

She blushed, took the blue sharpie, and scribbled something. She was done fairly quickly, and once they heard the small squeaks stop the inspected her work.

Now, Naruto couldn't see a thing from his position, but when he heard the gasps, oohs, and laughs, he began to wish otherwise. Lee, being fast, had rushed over to Naruto's front and hugged his head.

"Ooh, Naruto!" He said, tears streaming down his face, "It makes me so proud to see you as Hinata's reason for youth and beauty."

"What?"

Sasuke strutted up and smirked, "Wow Naruto," He said, "Usually it takes a special girl to write something like that on your…uh, personal posterior."

"Uh…"

"If you thought I was rough on you before," A dangerous voice spoke, coming from an older Hyuga, "Then I'll put your whole body in a cast for this."

"Not on my watch." Sakura snapped,

Now Naruto had to know what she wrote, "What did she write?"

Sakura sighed and pushed the others away before addressing Naruto, "She wrote something very…interesting."

"And it was?"

"'Next time break you mouth so I can kiss it and make it better.'"

**End flashback**

They all laughed as Hinata blushed at the memory. She glanced at Naruto and turned even redder as they made eye contact. The boy himself may not have looked embarrassed, but boy was he reliving some pain.

"Hey Naruto," Chouji called "You saved the Ino video, did you save that cast too?"

They all laughed at the thought.

"Yup."

And then they all shut up. Sakura was the first to speak.

"I'm afraid t ask, but why?"

"A memento of my…er, 30th birthday."

Ino glanced at him with narrowed eyes, but said nothing else. It was still Hinata's birthday, despite everyone thinking of everyone else's. Naruto shrugged and thought back at the memory's that cast brought.

Because we all know the real reason for keeping it, right?

-

-

AN: Yay! The end of another chapter. I wanted to finish and post this before school started again. This chapter may not my best, but it was fun, and interesting thinking of as many words as I could for the backside. There was a surprising number of words or your tushy.

Rei: Yeah, it was interesting. Plus you actually wrote in one of the teachers!

Naruto: You, you, you're evil.

Amaya: Thank you. But don't worry, I'll let you help me with Sasuke's chapter, I haven't done his yet.

Naruto: Ooh! Is he next?

Amaya Um, I don't know.

-

Next chapter: Well, due to the fact that I can't decide between Tenten, Sasuke, or the Sand Sibs. I'll leave it to you. Sasuke, Tenten, or a special sand sibling chapter. I'll wait a few days after posting, and most of first vote wins.


	7. Sasuke's blackout

AN: Oh my goddess, what have I been doing all month? I've been letting this fiction gather dust! (Grabs a rag and wipes it clean) My only defense is that schools been keeping me busy. Thanks to everyone who reviewed.

Naruto: What about that week where you played Zelda non-stop?

Amaya: Hey, I beat Twilight Princess! It was one of the happiest moments of my life.

Naruto: What life?

Rei: I couldn't agree more, and that pains me a little.

Amaya: Oh, hush! Naruto, please do the disclaimer, it's Sasuke's turn.

Naruto: Yeah! Amaya doesn't own my show, or the plots in each chapter. She just merges them.

Rei: Erm, shall I maim him?

Amaya: Please do.

-

-

Chapter seven: Sasuke's blackout.

"Come on, is keeping an old butt cast really all that bad?"

The looks Naruto was getting told him the answer, so he shrank into his seat and toyed with the little red thing on the left sleeve of his jacket that he still has but nobody knows what it does. Sasuke smirked,

"Man Naruto, you still are a laughing stock aren't you?" He jeered, "Only you would do that on your thirtieth birthday."

Naruto glared, "Oh, yeah? What about what you did for your birthday?"

Now that made the Uchiha fall short, because even he had to admit it was not his best day. Everyone knew that even he got riled up, but what he did was a little over the top for him.

**Flashback**

July 23rd, seven pm, and by now the gist has been made clear. Sasuke was being distracted by Sakura, Hinata and Naruto while everyone else waited over at Sakura and Ino's, the place where the party was being held. Sasuke, being Sasuke, could tell right off the bat that something of that nature was going on.

"Sakura, do you remember the other day when Ino was asking me what I wanted to do for my birthday?" He said calmly,

"Yeah." She responded.

"Do you remember Naruto butting in and shouting annoying things with you hitting him?"

"Yeah,"

"And do you remember me saying that I didn't want a big surprise party?"

"Yeah…"

"And do you remember ignoring what I said and throwing one anyway?"

"………You lost me."

Sasuke smacked his head with his hand in annoyance, even though Sakura had grown into a strong (and lovely) kunoichi, she still had a bit of her old self in her. Not that it was that big a deal, he just didn't know how to deal with that part of her. (Yet)

Naruto piped up, "Forget about that." He said, "We're going out to eat at a buffet, all you can eat. Right Hinata?"

"W-Well…"

"I get the feeling you'll eat them out of business." Sakura jabbed.

Sasuke sighed and stared at the three of them. His overall message wasn't coming through to them. After another few minutes, the others beckoned for him to come.

"Sasuke," Sakura called, "I left my wallet back at my apartment, we'll just stop there and head out."

"No."

"No?"

Sasuke stared right at the three of them, "I told you I don't want a party. You're holding that party at your place, and you taking me there with the 'forgot something' gag."

"But Sasuke…" Sakura started, but the Uchiha interrupted her.

"No 'buts', I just want any party ideas to stop right now!"

Then the power went out. The four of them were now immersed in total darkness. Hinata gripped Naruto's arm in fright, Sakura just stared upwards, and Sasuke bumped into his coffee table.

"Hey," Naruto said, "It's dark all of a sudden."

Sasuke got up from the floor where he fell and rubbed the spot where his leg hit, "Naruto," He growled, "Talking to you is like talking to a dog, provided the dog was hyperactive, and retarded, and in actuality a plant."

It took Naruto a moment to decipher the sentence, and when he did, he shouted in anger. While they argued Hinata had gone to try and find a candle. She could see alright using her Byakugan, but because she was the nicest person in Konoha, she chose to help the others.

**Meanwhile**

At the party site, Ino and the others were putting the finishing touches on the decorations when the power went out. The roughly exact placement of the others were as follows: Tenten was standing on a ladder with Neji below her keeping it balanced, Shikamaru was attempting to nap somewhere with Ino chasing after him, Lee was blowing up balloons, Kiba and Shino were somewhere in the next room lost in the sea of balloons that Lee had blown up, and Akamaru was sleeping soundly on top of the TV.

When the power went out, each of them had reacted a little bit differently, but the din in the rooms involved two of them falling onto someone else, a misunderstood breakdown, and a popping noise. The dialogue is as follows:

CRASH "Ow, Shikamaru! Watch it!"

"Me watch it? You crashed into me!"

Ino had obviously crashed into poor Shika, resulting in a stream of curses that the author would rather not say. The other crash was a bit less violent.

"AHH!"

"I got you!"

BANG

"Are you all right Tenten?"

"Yeah."

We're pretty sure that Tenten slipped off the ladder, and Neji managed to catch her, but knocked the ladder askew so she wouldn't get hurt.

As for Lee…

"What's this? I can not see! I have gone blind! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO."

…Yeah, Lee thought he had gone blind and freaked out. Kiba and Shino didn't really say anything, but they did pop a few of the balloons in the other room, startling Akamaru awake and making him bark incessantly. The voices rose, and eventually, someone shouted loudest of all in the dark.

"SHUT UP!"

It turned out to be Tenten, who couldn't get 'cozy' with Neji over all the noise. Ino sighed and whipped out her cell phone. She could do it in the dark because she had made the motion so many times it was easy. The light let the others find candles, and Ino dialed Sakura.

"Sakura? It's Ino, are you okay?" She said into the phone, "Uh huh, he figured it out? How? I blame Naruto too, just wait there for the power come back, it's bound to sooner or later."

The conversation went on for another minute, as Neji quickly found some candles and Tenten calmed Lee down. Kiba and Shino were still stuck in the balloon room, and Shikamaru was currently Ino's seat. She finally hung up at the a little after some candles were lit.

"Sakura, Naruto and Hinata are with Sasuke. He figured it out, so the surprise is busted. But we can still make it memorable." She sighed and glanced out the window

She finally got off Shikamaru, who laid there very still. Lee had by now calmed down, and Kiba and Shino were finally out of the balloon room. Neji and Tenten were still lighting some candles. Neji and Tenten had disappeared somewhere. (Use you're imaginations as to where they went. …On the other hand, don't.)

"What are the odds of this happening?" Ino wondered,

**Back with the birthday boy**

Sasuke was wondering the same thing. He did say he wanted to avoid the party, but something was off. At the risk of sounding like Neji from years back, he would have thought that fate was screwing with him. He was wrong of course, something much more evil than fate was at work here. (Inset ominous evil laugh)

"Sasuke?" Sakura whispered, "Naruto and Hinata are going to see what the problem is. The blackout too out the power everywhere in Konoha."

The Uchiha raised a brow, "Why are you whispering?"

She sighed and giggled a bit, "I don't know, for some reason blackouts make me want to whisper." She said in a fuller voice. "Sasuke, I'm sorry."

Now that was a surprise, Sasuke turned to her sharply, "Sorry? For what?"

"Oh, for the whole party idea." She said, "I knew I shouldn't have, but I said the idea to Ino and she went crazy as usual."

Sasuke blinked as Naruto and Hinata came back into the room.

"Yup, the whole village is in darkness." Naruto said, "Grandma Tsunade said that it should take about and hour or so to fix." He stopped as he saw the confused look Sasuke had, and the apologetic look of Sakura's. Brain turning, he smirked and turned to Hinata, "Hinata, I think there might be some more candles in the other room. Lets go look."

Hinata was confused as he pushed her into the other room, leaving them alone again. Naruto pressed his ear to the door and tried to listen to the conversation.

Sasuke was unsure what to say to Sakura. He debated with himself over what to do. On one hand, she had a point and did something she knew he didn't want, but on the other hand she was very nice about it, plus she had good intentions and he had overreacted just a bit. It was clear that one hand outweighed the other.

"You didn't have to do that." He said.

Sakura glanced at him and frowned, "The party?"

"No, the apology."

Sakura blinked, unsure why he was saying this. It was a little out of character for him. (Please don't kill me for it) And she was wondering if the blackout made him go crazy.

"I mean, it's not your fault." He said grumpily, "And things certainly would have happened like this anyway. Ino would have most likely come up with it herself, and I should know better then reveal too much of what I discover to anyone." (Did the last bit make sense?)

Sakura smiled, now that sounded more like him. She giggled at the awkward look he held as he got up to grab the candle and light some more. Unsure what she was going to do now, she hesitantly stood and followed him, blowing out candles on her way to him.

"Sasuke?"

"Hmm?"

She went up beside him and looked at the candle now in his grip. They both stood silent for a moment, when Sakura quickly blew out the candle, immersing them in darkness again. From behind the door, Naruto and Hinata could hear their voices again.

"Hey, why'd you do that?"

"…"

"Sakura? Wha-."

What followed was a good minute of silence. Then the power came back on.

"It's on!" Naruto cheered, bursting out of the room with Hinata in tow. "They must have fixed it. What's with you two."

Sasuke had an odd expression on his face. Somewhere between shock and awe, while Sakura looked a bit pleased with herself.

"Wha happened?" He asked.

"Never mind Naruto." Sasuke managed to grumble, "Just go to Ino's and we'll catch up."

The blonde sighed, "Whatever, come on Hinata."

The two of them left the apartment, leaving them alone again. The pink-haired girl smiled and turned to Sasuke.

"Hey Sasuke? How about we ditch them?"

He looked at her, shocked, "Ditch our teammates and skip out on my own birthday party?" He grinned, "I like it."

They both spent the rest of the night out on the town. While back at the apartment, poor Naruto was being pummeled by Ino while the others present (Neji and Tenten were still occupied) watched in horror.

Sakura was also chewed by Ino out the next day, and Sasuke by Naruto, but both of them agreed that it was worth it.

**End flashback**

"I mean, the way you just ditched us like that," Naruto ranted, "It took me three years to forgive you."

Sasuke sighed impatiently, "Naruto, that was a few months ago."

"You wanna make it five years?" He shouted.

Everyone laughed, and Sasuke slumped back into his chair, drained. He cast another wary eye over to Sakura, who was shaking her head in a friendly fashion.

Dwelling on it, he decided it was the best birthday he had ever missed.

-

-

AN: … WAAAHH! It isn't my best, by far. Turned out completely different from how I first planned it. I kind of like it…but…but, ohh. /Hides under desk/

Naruto: Are you okay?

Rei: She left a fic to rot for over a month, and the chapter is not how she originally wanted, how do you think she is?

Naruto: Amaya? Is there anything I can do to help?

Amaya: You can get me five buck's worth of pepperoni jerky, or be my lackey and do the things mom asks me to do.

Naruto: I'll get the jerky.

Rei: While Ama-kitchi is moping, I'll ask that if you like this at all, please leave a review, or a tip if you think she can improve. Anything will do.

-

Next chapter: Special bonus chapter! Sand Sib Special! Waaaaaay over in Suna, the sand siblings have sent their regards for Hinata, and recall their own milestones.


	8. Sand sib special!

AN: Huzzah! I've only got a few more chapters of this, so I have to make them count. This one came to me a few chapters after I realized that I forgot about them again, like I have in many other stories.

Naruto: Yeah, they weren't too happy.

Amaya: Darn right! After running from them, I made notes about this chapter in previous ones, then I put them in the voting booth chapter before last between them, Sasuke, and Tenten. Someone actually voted after I wrote it. I felt grateful to that person, and found a way to make it work. I was going to make a giant radioactive hamburger eat them at first, but I like Gaara and Temari too much for that. (Can't say the same for Kankuro.)

Naruto: You make no sense sometimes.

Amaya: Thank you, now do the disclaimer or I shall feed you to my rabid ducks.

Naruto: Amaya Zorifuki does not own Naruto©, see? I added that little copyright symbol for good measure.

Amaya: Good boy, here's a cookie.

---

---

Chapter eight: Bonus Chapter! Sand Sib Special!

-

The Konoha twelve went on chatting, when Ino suddenly remembered something. She went over to the gift table and plucked out an envelope.

"I almost forgot," She said, "This came for you in the mail Hinata."

The birthday girl took it gingerly from Ino, and opened it. It turned out to be a card with a picture of a cake that was clearly made out of sand. The inside read 'Happy Birthday Hinata, from the Sand siblings.'

"That was sweet of them." Sakura remarked, "Are we sure they're the same people?"

They all laughed, but Naruto still coughed a bit, "Hey, they have gotten better about it."

"True," Neji remarked, "They are all a little less…psychopathically violent."

Everyone laughed at Neji's choice of words, because it wasn't often you heard him say that. But it was true, the three of them had been a bit calmer. (Thanks to the influence of a certain blonde boy.)

"Man," Shikamaru voiced, "I'm aware that what happened on my birthday was ridiculously troublesome, but hope we never have to go through what they went through."

Everyone held his sentiment.

**Meanwhile (No flashback just yet)**

A very long ways away in Sunakagure, the three siblings in question were eating dinner. Don't bother wondering what it is they're eating exactly, because even the author has no clue.

They were eating, when Temari glanced at the calendar nearby, "Hey, they're wishing Hinata a happy birthday. I hope they got the card." She said.

Gaara said nothing and kept eating. Kankuro looked up.

"They should have Temari, we send that card out last week."

She sighed, "I know, now shut up and keep eating the meal that I made." As he kept eating, she kept talking. "It's so weird, now you're all in your thirties."

Kankuro looked up, "What do you mean by saying 'you'? You're in your thirties too."

"No I'm not."

Pause, "Yes you are."

"No, I'm, not."

"Yes you-"

"Nope."

"Temari do we have to go through this every time?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"You are such a stubborn-"

"SHUT UP!"

The two of them stopped at Gaara's outburst, who upon the silence, sat back down and continued to eat. At the risk of making him go demented again, Kankuro spoke up.

"Look Temari, we all know what happened. You can't deny it."

**--flashback--**

"Happy birthday Temari!"

She had invited the rookie nine for her birthday, though not all of them could come due to missions. But Naruto, Tenten, and teams 8 and 10 could make it, and it was fine at first. They ate the cake, played the games, and overall had a fairly nice time. But as usual with this crowd some unseen force from the heavens (Heh he hee) had not been very kind to them that day.

No, it wasn't Naruto breaking into a fight with Kiba, or Ino pulverizing Shikamaru, or even Kankuro accidentally breaking a beehive and Shino having to drive them off. Truth be told, Temari found those things funny. In fact, she was having the time of her life, and didn't even care about turning thirty.

It was Kankuro who had brought the subject to the table, literally. "Hey Temari, you won't believe this, but I found our birth certificates."

"Really?" she had asked, for you see, they never needed them in the past, so it was interesting to look at.

"That's so cool." Tenten had said, "I wish I knew where mine was, then I could know my last name."

While they gave her an odd look, Gaara grabbed his, quickly skimmed over it, and smacked it down on the table walking away. Curious to see what was so frustrating, they picked it up and looked at it.

"His middle name is Ko?" (Ko means child, I think. Correct me if I'm wrong.)

"So he's 'Gaara, child of the dessert'?" Naruto laughed "That's hilarious."

While the others were laughing, Temari skimmed over hers as well. No middle name, but something about it was not quite right. Her eyes eventually landed on the date. Doing some numbers in her head, she twitched and looked about ready to scream.

"Temari? What's up?" Naruto said to her, "It's time for cake."

The others shut off the lights and brought out the cake, singing the copyrighted birthday song. When they finished, she reached down, plucked a candle off it and blew the rest out.

Everyone stared as she then smiled a big smile and said, "Thanks for coming to my twenty-ninth birthday."

"What?" Ino piped, "Honey, this is your thirty-"

"No it's not." Temari butt in, cutting Ino off, "And it never will be."

Shikamaru raised a brow and glanced at her birth certificate. Looking at the date he knew what was going on.

"Temari, you did your math wrong." He said, holding up the paper, "It says here you're actually thirty-one."

Wrong thing to say, as she turned to him with a glint in her eye. Poor Shika could only hide behind the nearest person, who happened to be Chouji, as the female sand sibling stomped over to them.

The rest is better left unsaid, but we can at least say that Shika knows better.

**--End flashback-- **

"To this day you say that you're only twenty-nine."

Temari sighed as her brother went on about her. Gaara just sat there and ate in silence. When the puppet master was finally done, she took a cleansing breath and replied frankly.

"Well, if you don't mind me saying, you didn't have a grand time at your big milestone either."

He frowned, knowing full well she was correct.

**--Flashback--**

"Yeah, lets get this party started!"

Chirp, chirp.

"Hello?"

It seems the person in charge of fate (me) made it so they were all on missions at the time. In fact, the only one there was a very drunk Kiba.

"Woo! Look at me! I'm a dog!"

The doll-puppet guy (It had to be said) smacked his face with his palm as Kiba raced out the door. Akamaru on his heels, barking what no doubt meant that he'd had too much to drink.

"Aw, shut up Akamaru. You need a…a…FIRE-HYDRANT!"

What followed was the sound of something liquid hitting something red. You figure it out.

**--End flashback--**

"In the end it took three hours to get him out of that tree."

(Snort) "Yeah, that was a shame." (Chuckle) "On the bright side, you got a dog for your birthday." And with that, Temari burst out laughing while Kankuro fumed.

"Shut up you hag." He mumbled.

Gaara looked back and forth between his older siblings. After living with them all his life, he knew they could be pretty crazy when it came to things like this.

As he was finishing off is food, Temari turned to look at him.

"Gaara, I'm sure you remember your 30th birthday."

He glanced up at her with a look that said 'we don't speak of that' as she began to reminisce about that particular day. Just so we're clear, it's not that it was horrible, just ruined by uninvited company.

**--Flashback­--**

When the Kazekage's 30th birthday rolled around, it was natural that his best friend Naruto was there. Along with him was Sakura, Shikamaru and Team Gai. The others all had missions at the time, and Kiba was not allowed in Suna unless he had a mission.

"Happy birthday Gaara, you're now one of the old people." Naruto told him with a friendly arm around his shoulder.

The redhead in question was a bit confused, but felt happy all the same. I mean he's surrounded by friends, making his wish as he blew out the candles on the cake. Immerse yourself in the cuteness, because it's gonna go away in about three seconds.

As soon as the last candle was snuffed out, a low rumbling began to erupt just outside. A confused Shikamaru stood up and peered out the window. As soon as he saw what was out there he snapped away, shut the blinds and hid.

"What's with Shikamaru?" Naruto asked as someone knocked on the door. "I'll get it." He said, and ran to open it. The poor guy didn't expect to be screamed at.

"WHERE IS KAZEKAGE-SAMA?"

"GAARA-SAMA!"

"PLEASE EXCEPT MY GIFT!"

The now half deaf blonde closed the door, calmly walked over to the others, and said in a voice that was both calm and irritated,

"Your fangirls are here."

They all gave him a slightly alarmed look as he sat down to nurse his bleeding ears. As the guys began to panic, the girls calmly got up and faced the onslaught of crazed women.

**--End flashback--**

"It was practically a massacre." Kankuro noted as Tamari had a wistful look that said she would do it again in an instant.

"I enjoyed knocking those guys off their rockers." She said, Though I wish someone else had the opportunity to fish Shika out of the closet that day."

"It was fun." Gaara said suddenly, startling the two of them for a second. They silently decided he was probably talking about the parts that didn't include fangirls, that was what they hoped at least.

"In any case, we're all thirty today, no matter what you say." Kankuro added before Temari could once again go into denial.

The girl frowned and muttered "Doll-boy."

He glared at the insult, "Thirty-one!"

"Shut up!"

**--Back in Konoha--**

"Shut up!"

Kiba had to silence Naruto for the fifth time about how drunk he got and Kankuro's party. Thankfully Hinata had asked him to stop, although Kiba felt it would have been nice if she asked him to stop the first time.

Ino turned to Shikamaru, "You hid in a closet?"

"You should have seen that mob." He said in his defense.

She shrugged and got up, "It Doesn't matter at this point. Time to unwrap presents!

-

-

Amaya: …

Rei: …

Naruto: You left this to rot for way longer then last time. What were you doing?

Rei: Wrong thing to say.

Naruto: Huh?

(The following scene is left out for terrible violence and author rage towards Naruto)

Amaya: To answer his question, I had winter break and my sister forcing me to help with the school play. Plus I had a massive writers block which was only just remedied. I apologize if it was overly late or not funny enough.

-

Next chapter: as Hinata opens a few gifts, Tenten is reminded that sometimes it isn't the thought that counts.


	9. What NOT to get Tenten

Okay, delay aside, I got up the next chapter without too much trouble

Okay, MASSIVE delay aside, I got up the next chapter without too much trouble. It involves my favorite character so it might not be so hard for me.

Naruto: Hang on, just what were you doing while you let this fic gather dust again? Playing more lame video games?

Rei: Ooh, you're going to with you hadn't said that.

Naruto: Why?

Rei: Because she takes her Nintendo very seriously. Once someone criticized Zelda to her face, and she attacked him with his own copy of HALO. Made some actual use of the thing while turning it to a nice shade of red. The imprint is still on his skull. And now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to say the disclaimer while Ama-kitchi finds a use for her mom's busted PS2.

Naruto: Amaya? I didn't mean it like that? Put that controller down!

Rei: Disclaimer time! Amaya doesn't own Naruto or most of the ideas here, those are from FRIENDS.

Naruto: The pain!

-

-

-

Chapter nine: What NOT to get Tenten.

-

Everyone cheered as Hinata looked at the gifts that her friends had gotten her, unsure which one to open first. As her eyes scanned them Ino leaned over and gave her some sage advice.

"A word of advice, go with the one that's probably going to be the worst. That way you won't be disappointed."

Most of the group looked at her oddly, but a few got her logic and nodded. Tenten decided to pipe up.

"In other words, open Kiba's first." She said with a glare and the boy in question. Everyone present knew exactly what she meant, and Kiba had about three seconds to defend himself as usual.

"Hey, that was years ago." He told them, "You can't hold that over my head forever."

"Maybe not," Tenten responded, "But I sure can try."

"But I thought you already had your revenge."

--**Flashback**--

March ninth, late morning around eleven, partly cloudy with a ten percent chance of rain. Tenten opened the bedroom door in her apartment with sleep still in her eyes. She wasn't quite ready to go anywhere, being still in her pajama's and her hair was hanging around her shoulders.

"Surprise! Happy birthday Tenten!"

It seems Ino had gotten them to get up a bit earlier and had opt for surprising her when she woke up. Her apartment had been decorated while she had been sleeping the day away.

It really was nice, which must have been why she gave them a look, went back in her room closed her door. They all looked at each other before giving the door another glance as it opened again. However, instead of Tenten, Neji stepped out.

Shikamaru blinked and mused half to himself, "Hmm, she's not as pretty as she was when she was twenty-nine."

Kiba tilted his head. "I don't know about that." At that little comment they all gave him a WTF look, "What?"

Neji coughed in spite of the awkwardness, "Miss Tenten would like to establish some ground rules." He told them, "No using the words 'Old' 'sagging' 'aging nicely' and 'they still look pretty good.'" He cast a look at Naruto.

"What? They do."

Ino pushed the boys away and called into the door. "Tenten? Come out. There's French toast and a chocolate cake out here."

"We all brought presents." Sakura added.

Her voice came out from behind the door, "Good ones?"

They all said yes, or at least something to that effect. The door opened slowly and the brunette poked her head out. "Can I keep the gifts and still be twenty-nine?"

"We'll see what we can do." Naruto grinned at her as she walked out.

They helped themselves to the breakfast as Ino explained that after they opened the gifts they were going to do whatever the birthday girl wanted for the rest of the day. Tenten liked that idea and began to brainstorm ideas.

Eventually, the time for gifts was upon them. She looked around and selected one. Elsewhere, a nerd at her computer selected a random name from a hat.

"Open mine first!" Lee said with enthusiasm, "Come on!"

"All right Lee," She said with only a little bit of hesitation, "Hmm, pretty big." She didn't expect what she got. "A scooter, how…sweet."

Lee smiled a tooth-ping smile and gave a thumbs up. "I thought it would be very youthful when you're having a day off. Do you like it?"

Tenten smiled, "It's lovely Lee, thank you."

She carefully set it aside as the rest of them gave Lee odd looks. He smiled and explained that it would make her feel younger. He silently thanked his lucky stars that Tenten hadn't heard him say that as she reached for the next one.

"Okay, this one's from team seven."

"You all got her one thing?" Ino asked.

Sasuke sighed, "It was cheaper to pool our cash and get her something more pricey."

There was a slight pause that was broken by Shikamaru, "In other words, you put your names on whatever it was Sakura got her."

The boys of Team Seven looked both aghast at the implication, and slightly ashamed at the fact that they were figured out. Naruto tried to save a bit of face.

"Well, I would've gotten her something myself, but it was too late. I am capable of getting good gifts myself you know."

"For my last birthday, you gave me a hug." Shino told him.

Naruto frowned and stuck out his tongue, muttering something about 'giving him affection' or something. Tenten rolled her eyes and opened the gift.

"Oh, travel scrabble." She said with a slight tone of disappointment. "That's so thoughtful, thank you guys."

Naruto stared at the gift, which told the others that he hadn't been told of the contents of the present when he put his name on it. Sasuke looked equally stunned, but the medic nin smiled a hearty smile.

The birthday girl gave a hearty sigh, thus far her gifts were more appropriate for a teenager. She grabbed the next one, from Ino.

"Hey, Shikamaru, Chouji?" Hinata asked before she opened it, "Where are your gifts?"

"I made breakfast." The Nara boy said lazily.

"I'm going to pay for lunch." Chouji piped.

They left it at that and Tenten immediately ripped it open, not looking at the card. Ino gasped at her action as tried to warn her, but it was far to late. The poor birthday girl stared blankly at the box in her hands, and Neji looked somewhat horrified.

"Condoms?" Tenten said slowly.

Ino sighed, "Well if you had read the card you would have known to open them in private."

(AN: For the record, this actually happened. Not to me, to one of my gay friends. My sister is a loon.)

"And just so we're clear," Ino continued, "my gift for all to see was those flowers." She gestured to the lilies on the table, "They have a card on them, but you didn't notice."

Tenten heaved a big sigh and set the variety box of condoms beside her other gifts. She made sure to not look at Neji while she did so, even though they were in a relationship at this point, it was very embarrassing for both of them.

"Uh, moving on?" She suggested, and glanced around for something else. Her eyes fell on a box wrapped in blue paper. She picked it up and read the card carefully this time. The name written in neat cursive made her relax a bit.

"This one's from Hinata, thank all that is merciful." She said, and began to open it. The others sweat dropped at her choice of words there, but chose to ignore her.

It turned out to be clothes, a blue silk blouse with a pattern of stars dancing along the fabric, and a pair of black shorts with a cloth draping along the back, making it look like a long skirt from behind.

"They're beautiful, thank you Hinata."

Tenten hugged Hinata, happy to get something that wasn't a joke or a toy. Leave it to Hinata to make things seem alright. The birthday girl carefully set aside her new clothes and grabbed the next gift. It was a tad large but rather heavy.

"This one's from Shino." She said, "Should I be scared?"

Hinata giggled at her words, "No, it should be fine."

Only slightly skeptical, Tenten tore at the wrapping and pulled out something that no one expected.

"A snow globe collection?" Naruto asked, staring at it along with everyone else.

"It's got everything from Konoha to Suna, although there's no snow there." Ino remarked.

Tenten picked up the Suna one and gave it an experimental shake. Instead of white sand floating in the water, a small brown twister formed over the place. It was like a sandstorm, making it very unique.

"Wow, thank you Shino." Tenten said, actually quite impressed with the gift. She smiled brightly and hoped for a good one with Kiba, thus making team eight's gifts all good. Oh, how wrong she was.

"Open the card first." Kiba told her.

"Okay," She opened the envelope and looked at the card. Seconds ticked by as her face went from leased, to confused. "Happy Birthday Grandma."

Everyone froze, before turning to stare (or glare) at Kiba. Akamaru made a groaning noise. Tenten continued,

"It's better to be over the hill…" she read on the cover, she winced a little as she opened it, "then buried under it."

There was a very awkward pause, until she began to laugh, which actually scared the others a bit, until the tears came. Kiba tried to explain himself without getting killed by Neji.

"No, no, it's supposed to be a joke."

"Yeah, I get it." Tenten choked "I get it's funny." Her voice cracked.

Kiba began to plead a bit, "No, because you're not a grandma."

"Yeah, I know. Because to be a grandma I have to be married and have children and I don't have any of that. I get it. It's so funny! I gotta go…somewhere else, you can entertain yourself with the travel scrabble."

And with that she ran from the room, and the whole apartment. Everyone was silent and glaring at Kiba. Ino cleared her throat.

"All you had to do was buy the card!" She scolded.

Neji sighed and followed the weeping birthday girl, grabbing something off the table. As he went Kiba scratched the back of his head.

"Well, I bet you if she had opened the gift she would have been cheered up."

"What did you get her?" Sasuke asked.

"Some really versatile lingerie."

There was a silence before Sakura whacked Kiba over the head.

Meanwhile, Tenten was still bolting down the hallway of her apartment in tears. She was about to leap down the flight of stairs, when a hand grabbed her arm. She turned to see Neji had followed her. She let out a hiccup and sat down on the top step.

"I'm old." She moaned.

"Tenten, that's hardly…"

"I'm wrinkly and boring and middle aged and invisible and-"

"Tenten!" Neji almost yelled, "Will you let me speak?"

She nodded, and let her boyfriend continue. "First off, you aren't wrinkly, trust me. Second, there are a lot of words to describe you and boring in not one of them. You are a wonderful person. And about your age, who cares? Even if you think you are old, you certainly look twenty three, without needing any makeup. So forget about that idiot's stupidity, and open my gift."

He held out a small box. She gently opened it and saw a small ring. It was a simple piece of silver that was carved into the shape of two wings overlapping and forming the ring. She slipped it on as Neji kissed her softly.

"Now lets head back."

They made their way back to the apartment, where the others were waiting patiently. Tenten showed off her new ring, and turned to the others.

"I think I have the rest of the day planned, we'll go out to dinner, and when he get back, we can whack a piñata."

Ino blinked, "But we didn't bring one."

There was a pause as they turned to Kiba, Tenten grinned evilly, "No, but I'm sure a few of you won't mind setting it up, with candy and the blockhead and everything?"

The boys grinned, all except Kiba. He knew that they wouldn't mind a bit.

**--End flashback--**

"I still have bruises from that day." Kiba told them.

"Well deserved bruises," Tenten reminded him, "Now hurry up and open something Hinata."

She gestured to Hinata with a wave of her hand. A small glint of silver flashed of her ring finger. She wore that ring as often as possible, and would never take it off. That is, until it was ever replaced by the same person with a ring that had a gem on it. The wings would go on the other hand.

If only Tenten knew that the person who gave her the wing ring was picking out a diamond ring that very week, and was planning on giving it to her ASAP. Along with a very important question.

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Rei: Naruto is currently in pain right now, and Amaya is still making him hurt, so let me explain why she was so late with this chapter. For starters, she was busy with school, then there's the fact that she sold her house, plus her own birthday. She was really busy and wants to apologize for the lateness.

Naruto: YOU HAVE THE POWER TO STOP THIS! HELP ME!

Amaya: (singing) Happiness, is a warm gun. Bang, bang, shoot, shoot.

Rei: So I'll just give you the lowdown on the next and possibly last chapter.

Naruto: WHY ME?

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Next time: Hinata decides that it's now or never to tell Naruto her feelings. However, he just might be one step ahead of her.


	10. Hinata's nature

AN: What I hope is the final chapter will now commence

AN: What I hope is the final chapter will now commence. Not that I didn't enjoy this, but I have to move on. Maybe do a Bleach thing soon. In any case, my writing will be on hold soon and then I might have more time then ever.

Naruto: Because of summer break, right?

Rei: Actually my silly blonde friend, Ama-Kitchi and her family are moving in the near future to the other side of the States, And she is graduating soon, so those thins combined might help after the move.

Amaya: But I do need to get a job eventually.

Rei: Details, details. You're moving to the tropics. And I won't let you. (Grabs Amaya and runs of cackling)

Naruto: Oo I guess I'd better deal witth this.

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Disclaimer: Amaya Zorifuki owns neither Naturo nor the jokes from FRIENDS.

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Chapter ten: Hinata's nature

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"Thank you for that Kiba." Hinata said after she opened her gift from him. A blue and silver dragonfly hairpin, (he learned from his mistake) She only had a few left, including the guy she had admired for a while.

Truth be told, his was the one she was most afraid to open. She had known his to go on a few dates in the past. Nothing long term though, they had only been with him once or twice. In fact, Naruto's longest relationship was with Sakura for about three weeks before he realized that she wouldn't give up Sasuke. They were now at a point of friendship.

In turn, Hinata had had minor dates, but they were horrible, from a penny pincher to a candle eater. (That one was memorable) But she always came back to the same place of admiring Naruto, with just something more behind it.

Anyway, back to the plot at hand, Hinata only had a few gifts left. She was about to reach for one, when Shikamaru piped up.

"Can we pause for a sec, I need a smoke break."

Everyone moaned at him, for smoking and for making the birthday girl wait. But she said it was fine and he excused himself. Chouji went with him to keep him company. Tenten sighed and looked around.

"I still can't believe that we're all that big three-zero." She mused, "It seems like it was yesterday that we were all genin."

The sighed, Kiba spoke up, "Remember that one incident that happened when we all went to the beach? That was crazy."

**--Flashback--**

The girls lay on the beach, sunning themselves. As the others did their own thing. Naruto was nearby, doing who knew what when Sakura stood up.

"I'm going to get some drinks, anyone wanna come?"

Tenten and Ino stood to head out while the others placed orders of sorts. From a mound of sand, Naruto's head came popping up.

"I'd like a soda."

"Naruto," Ino started, "What are you doing?"

"Digging a hole." He said, like it was the most obvious thin in the world.

The girls rolled their eyes, "Anyway, we'll be back soon."

They left, leaving Hinata and Naruto alone. She was nervous of course, but at the point of this memory she was about twenty-four. So she had a bit more backbone then when she was a teenager.

"Hey, Hinata, check it out!"

She stood up and peered into the hole, where Naruto was holding a rather massive seashell. "I would have missed it if not for the hue hole."

She giggled, especially when the tide rolled in and began to fill the hole. Her laughter turned to agony when she felt something brush her leg. She let out a shriek of pain and fell. Naruto rushed out of the hole and was at her side in a flash.

"Hinata, what is it?"

"I think I got stung by a jellyfish."

"What?" He cried, turning to the ocean, "Damn jellyfish, DAMN ALL THE JELLYFISH!"

"Naruto," Hinata cried, "It really hurts."

He began to look at the wound, he had picked up a few things from Sakura. She kind of beat them into his head. He remembered something about jellyfish stings, but as they crept into his brain, his face began to pale.

"What is it?" Hinata asked, noticing his expression.

"Well, I know what to do here."

"Tell me, hurry."

"You're going to have to…pee on it."

There was a pause,

"WHAT?"

"I read about it, there's a kind of ammonia in…that, that gets the stinger out."

Hinata felt like she was going to pass out. Not from pain anymore, but from embarrassment. She knew that the others were either in town or at the beach house they were staying at. No one else around for miles.

"Okay, but I can't bend that way." She squeaked out, "You'll have to do it for me."

Naruto sighed, and asked her to look away. They decided to use the hole. After that, he carried her back to the beach house, neither spoke for a while.

**--End flashback--**

Everyone laughed at that memory as Naruto and Hinata blushed. The two of them had their moments, but that memory clung to the back of their minds, it wasn't the only one, but the others wouldn't bring those up.

"What about that time when we all went to see that hockey?"

So much for that.

--Flashback--

It was a simple prospect. Get in, watch the game, leave, and maybe get a bit to eat. But once again higher powers just felt they had to screw with them. They had pretty good seats, and they were all exited, even though some of them were out of their element. (Neji, Shino, Hinata etc.)

Hockey was fairly new to Konoha, mainly because it didn't have much ice to use. Hockey came from the land of snow, and began to spread, it was fairly enjoyable. Even becoming a favorite to Ninja, who began to use it even in warmer weather.

A ninja had figured that they could use the ninja skills to walk, or in this case, glide along the water pushing a more lightweight puck that floated.

Anyway, they were getting ready for the first ninja hockey match on Konoha at the local pool. Seating had been erected, barriers had been put up, and diving boards had been removed. The twelve ninja in question had managed to nab tickets.

It was fairly enjoyable. Considering the face plants on the barriers, but water hockey was a bit safer then ice hockey, for one thing, the lack of ice made falls more bearable.

Naruto was the most into the whole thin. He already had a team picked out. The team sponsored by Ichiraku Ramen.

"Go for It!" He shouted, calling into the field, "It's so cool."

Hinata was a little less enthused, the violent sport wasn't her thing and she swore she saw blood on that barrier. She politely stood up.

"I'm going to the bathroom." She said, and began to work her way through the crowd. Naruto turned to see her go, but he was slightly distracted by the sight of something small and black rush in her direction.

He immediately stood up and jumped in front of her, and she turned in time to see him get creamed by the puck. It may have been light, but at the speed it was going, it did some damage.

"Naruto!" Hinata cried, as some of the others rushed forward.

"Hey Hinata," Naruto slurred out, probably due to an oncoming concussion, "Wanna sign my puck?"

**--End flashback--**

"Hey, I protected Hinata, how is that amusing?"

"Because you were even more of an idiot for three weeks." Sasuke supplied.

Naruto huffed as Hinata turned an even deeper shade of red. The blonde Shinobi let out a moan and stood up. "I'm going to get some air." He said, "Since Shikamaru's out on the back balcony, I'll head out front."

He promised to come back, and stepped out. Hinata sighed and picked up a small gift that lay almost hidden on the table. She looked at it for a moment and saw the writing on it.

"For Hinata, love Naruto." She read out loud.

The others looked at each other with a slight trepidation as she stared at the word love. She looked up with a slightly awed expression.

"It's probably a friendly sort of love." She said.

The others looked nervous, Ino piped up.

"Actually sweetie, there's something we need to tell you."

**--flashback--**

The others were planning Hinata's birthday party the day before.. Things were fine, except for one small detail.

"I don't know what to get her for her birthday." Naruto moaned.

Ino looked over at him with slight annoyance. "Why not? You've had weeks to get her something."

"Yeah, but I don't know what to get." He said.

Ino sighed, "Well what did she get you for you last birthday?"

"A really nice leather scroll with a neat new jutsu in it."

Ino's eyes widened, "Oh, yeah, that was really something. Right Shikamaru?"

Shikamaru rolled his eyes, "Yeah, girls spend a lot of cash for guys they're in love with. Remember that one girl with erotomania and had a thing for Shino?"

The others had frozen solid, not for mentioning that incident, but saying the word. The genius noticed his flub too late as Naruto looked up.

"In love?" He said, "Hinata's been in love with me?"

Shika looked at the others, who had a look that screamed 'cat out of the bag' and the end of him.

"No, that was just air in my mouth."

But it was far too late, and Naruto suddenly leapt up.

"For how long?"

"…Since we were genin." Kiba admitted after a pause.

"What? Why didn't anyone tell me?"

"Because it was obvious." Sakura pointed out.

The bewildered blonde would have gone farther, but a thought struck him and a grin broke on his face. So he turned to the door and walked out. Ino tried to stop him.

"Wait, I'm in love with you, deal with me first!"

Shikamaru gave her an odd look, but then moaned and began to massage his temples.

Kiba clapped him on the shoulder. "Yeah, keep rubbing your head, that'll turn back time."

**--End flashback--**

Hinata stared at them, openmouthed. Her secret had been out for a day now? The sound of footsteps alerted her to Shikamaru and Chouji coming back in.

"Hey, what did I miss?" He asked.

Hinata looked up at him, "You told Naruto I was in love with him?"

Shika paled, "I think I need another smoke." And turned on his heel

She was now petrified as she fingers found themselves working at the paper. They soon left the gift and she found herself staring at a little brown box.

Her eyes widened at she opened it. Inside was a necklace on a silver chain. It was a piece of moonstone carved into the shape of a fairy girl. It looked pricey but beautiful. The others oohed and aahed at it.

"It's so pretty."

"Where'd he find that?" Tenten wondered.

Hinata let out a breath she didn't realize she was holding. "We were passing by an antique shop about a month ago and I saw it in the window. I can't believe he remembered."

She didn't wait for anyone else to say anything, as she slipped it on and marched out to where Naruto was getting some air.

He turned and saw her coming his way. He noticed the necklace and began to say something.

"Hey Hinata, you like the ne-"

He was cut off, when Hinata, in an admittedly uncharacteristic display, threw her arms around him and planted her lips firmly on his. He didn't expect it, but at the moment, it didn't matter.

Meanwhile, the others stood in the doorway watching the new couple and cheering. Ino nodded in approval and Neji sighed, allowing this one for Hinata,

Unknown to them, another group watched them from afar. Kakashi, Gai, Tsunade, Kurenai Asuma and Iruka were smiling at their students.

They were all grown up. Iruka smiled and turned to the others.

"Imagine that in another ten year, they'll be forty."

The others laughed, because nobody wanted to think of that right now.

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AN: I…finished it. I can hardly believe it. It was a real blast to write, and I'm so thankful to everyone who reviewed and stuck by me. Thank you very much.

Naruto: Are you sure you're done? Completely?

Amaya: Well, I might put up a gag reel, just for fun, if the readers want me to.

Rei: I agree, if you want to see a gag reel, just let us know and we'll totally put something up.

Amaya: But I can't make any promised with the quality.

Naruto: Well, just in case, we'd all like to say something.

All three: /bowing/ thank you so much.


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